ShareIt was a gorgeous day out so I mowed the lawn and decided to sit in my backyard and enjoy a job well done and the beautiful weather. I brought out my journal to write done some things for my bucket list. I just love being outside when the weather is amazing. Did I mention that already? lol I’d like to drive somewhere, but usually prefer having someone go with me. Not always, but most of the time. So I decided to just stay home and enjoy my back yard. My mind wonders when I’m doing things, like taking a … Continue reading →

ShareHousekeeping first, I had to turn off the comments because of asshole spammers spamming my comments with well over 4,000 spam comments, sorry. Living in Derry I have found an amazing creative community. I’ve been an extra in like 10 local films, including being an extra in an episode of Derry Girls recently. The acting, comedy and writing community keep me busy thankfully! Well, before covid anyway, and we are slowly coming back to getting together again. This piece is about a writing contest I’m entering inspired by the journalist, Lyra McKee, that was murdered in Creggan, N Ireland, not … Continue reading →

ShareBecause I don’t have my techie with me anymore and I can’t log on under my log in, I have to log in under Martin. With Martin slowly disappearing in the 3D, I don’t mind. It feels like we’re still working together. I was mentioning to a friend recently that even through all the pain, there is beauty not only to be witnessed, but to be captured. You just have to be willing to see it, even in the most traumatic of times. I was able to do it with Andrew through his illness and passing, as hard as it … Continue reading →

ShareThere is a line from the song, “My Sweet Lady” by John Denver that says, “Our time has just begun.” It is the first song Martin ever sang to me in 1988. That is when we saw each other again since 1976 when I was 14 year old. I was getting ready to head back to Florida from Derry N Ireland after my 2 week stay, after being apart for 12 years. Unfortunately my trip was coming to an end, and I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, listening to Martin sing me this song, with tears streaming down my … Continue reading →

ShareThat was something Martin had said to me awhile ago, “if you want to hold on, you have to let go.” Of course I wanted to tell him to shut it, among other things like STFU! AND who knew a husband could be right? I hate when that happens! That saying can apply to so many things in life. Like if I want to hold on to my son, I need to let go of him at the same time. Let go of what was, to allow what is, which could be even better if I allow it. There in … Continue reading →

Share  Oh dear gawd! Here’s hoping I NEVER smell that thing later! Okay, so apparently when a spirit shows up and wants to cross, but not sure how, they give you, well let’s just call it a pungent aroma, oh who am I kidding? It’s a rancid, god awful, disgusting odor, to get your attention. And man! It definitely gets your attention! It’s happened to Martin quite a lot through the years. Well now I know what the hell exactly he was talking about! Martin comes into the living room where I am sitting minding my own business when I … Continue reading →

Share Martin and I were getting off the bus in Derry, N Ireland coming from Belfast after a full day of traveling trying to tie up American  loose ends. As we were getting ready to make our way home, a woman sitting outside a pub with her friend, commented how she loved our look, I believe her exact words were, “I freakin’ love your look!” THEN started singing, “The Bright Side of Life.” Out of the blue! And for those in the know, know that is the song we ended Andrew’s FUNeral service with, so that was a HUGE deal … Continue reading →

Share I have loved the song Silent Lucidity for decades now, but it’s not a song you heard a lot of on the radio. I’m not even sure where I first heard the song, but I have always loved it. I remember being in Derry a while ago, like before Andrew passed I believe, now that I think about it, it could’ve been 2 months after he passed when we went for his memorial, which would make sense now that I think about it. But I saw the Queensryche CD at our fav goth place in Derry, called Trash, and … Continue reading →

Share   Andrew never got to be a big brother, until now that is. When  he was in the hospital, thousands of people followed my blog to keep up on Andrew’s progress. One of them was Swati, she fell in love with Andrew. We “met” Swati on an angel board I was very active on because I had worked with the well known author who it belonged to. When Andrew passed, Swati was beyond devastated. She demanded that Andrew come back. Oh yes, she was serious! She fully expected him to listen to her! It still makes me chuckle thinking … Continue reading →