First let me say thank you to all who are posting comments! AWESOME! As Andrew would say. :-) Joanie, great question and I will be sure to ask that one! I want to know as well! I know I feel like WTF is going on?? WHy are the brightest lights leaving?? DAMMIT! We can’t do this stuff by ourselves! I’m sure the answer will be a blog unto itself answer! lol
Andrew has been giving us soooo many signs! Unbelievable! Like with my niece on the way to his service on Sat, she was behind a yellow Hummer (His fav b 4 he was concerned about the environment) that had on it’s wheel cover “Life Is Good” ANdrew has the t-shirt and necklace of that. We saw that Hummer at the hospital when we first arrived in St Pete and this was from Venice to Bradenton! Very weird! Today when Chrissy and AnneMarie were boarding the plane back to Belfast, they got a quick smell of Andrew’s room (a good one! Not a funky teenage boys’ we forgot to shower smell . LOL)
Then they settle in to their seats and who is their steward?? You got it! Andrew was his name!! LOL
We were in the mall tonight to see the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D. Not my pic! Andrew had been wanting to see it and since Martin and Elatia are a bit on the macob side we went. First Martin and I went shopping, I needed some jeans. I probably shouldn’t be in public yet. It’s a land mine for me I tell ya! I saw a mother and son together having a good time. He was kidding with her and helping her. The tears started, I couldn’t talk. Andrew would always talk to me and kid around whenever we went out. I can’t think about now or the tears will start again.Martin starts to talk me down. He said he had a moment in the grocery store the other day when he saw a father w/his 6 yr. old son. For me it’s seeing a happy teenager son w/his mom. I missed him so much at that moment. AND I get a good dose of hard core reality slapped up beside my head w/moments like these! It SUCKS! It’s so hard and we can communicate with Andrew easily! I don’t know how parents who can’t talk to their DLO get through this! It’s hard for us and we still have him w/us! We are blessed!
As Martin and I are walking and talking and me crying, Andrew was telling me that the moment would pass and laughter is the best way. He is adamant about feeling the feelings but MOVING thru them and NOT getting stuck in it. I was like yea, yea, whatever. Just then a cross dresser walks by us!!! OMG!! I couldn’t help but LMAO! I know that was Andrew’s impeccable timing! I was having one of my “holding my breath u can’t make me” moments and he found a way to get me out of it!
On the way home from the airport I was feeling overwhelmed by so many emotions. One, that everyone was gone, 2 missing Andrew, 3 how we’re getting to Ireland, 4 missing Andrew, 5 missing Andrew, 6, did I say missing Andrew?? Mostly missing Andrew and not knowing what to do with my life now. Martin sez Andrew wants us to continue the comedy shows. I admitted that refusing to do the shows anymore was my way of holding my breath in protest. I told the Universe, God, Goddess, the Powers that Be, that if Andrew went Home, I wouldn’t do comedy anymore, I can’t. More like I won’t. It was my threat of “If you do this then I’ll do that.”
I said “FINE! I’ll consider it! But I’m not chasing anything anymore! No more open mics in front of crickets! No more begging to do shows! I’ve put enough out there so I can be found!” SO what happens?? An ATP friend calls from England and wants us on her popular radio show and sez she can probably get us a show in Glastonbury! DAMMIT! No one will let me throw my tantrum!
I am really exhausted again, go figure, so I am going to bed and should be up early to get more writing done & give my cuz Down Under some more to read! ;-) A shout out to my cuz ClaireAnne in Oz!! Will miss Chris when I’m in Belfast! Who will do my hair?? BaaaaWaaa lol
I want to make sure I’m more alert to give the info correctly that ANdrew has to give. I need to be on the ball to give it! Some of it is intense! But that will be a little later. God only knows what you’d get now! :-p
To quote Andrew today “CHOOSE HAPPINESS! IT’S ALWAYS A CHOICE NO MATTER WHAT!” and of course his fav, IT’S ALL GOOD! I am honored to be your mother Muck! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D