Thank you all for “listening” I really appreciate it. I wish I could pretend none of this gets to me but it does sometimes. After nearly 8 weeks of this and knowing there’s at least another 8 weeks more in hospital, it gets emotionally draining. I miss my bed,Â I miss my house, I miss my weiner dog, I miss my life!!Â Â Even when we get home it’s not over. So yea, it does get hard sometimes. BUT I bounce back pretty quick so that’s good right I do know that I have to stay focused on health and on feeling grateful and happy w/o a doubt. But a melt down every now and then helps me do that.
Things build up & need to be released. There’s only so much the mom gene can take! Andrew is amazing because he helped me feel better this morning (Sun. a.m.) Crazy I know! Should be the other way around! I told him a tiny bit of why I was upset, about what some of the book said. He didn’t know I spent the night w/tears running down my face. He sez “That’s a stupid book mama! Trish (his nurse practitioner) explained everything to me and it’s going to be fine, I’m ready to do this so don’t worry mama!” How could I not feel great after that??
We spent the early morning chatting and having a great time laughing. I didn’t want to leave & go to my room to sleep. I want to savor every millisecond I have with him!Â I asked him how he was doing, he’s been dealing w/constipation. Oh the things you never thought you’d be talking to ur shy, 16 yr. old son about! He said, now get ready, this is a little graphic but funny… “my butt doesn’t sting anymore it just tickles and I kinda like that!” I said in my infinte wisdom knowing where a 16 yr. old boy can take things, “Oh yea, well that sounds cool.” He said “Yea, like a feather is tickling my butt! A purple feather and a midget chasing me with it! Geez I dunno where that came from!” I warned you! We had watched America’s Next Top Model yesterday, he’s the one who turned me onto the show FYI,Â and the Wild Boys were on w/Wee Man & they do crazy things like that. Well, that’s where I’m hoping it came from anyway! He wasn’t medicated so what elseÂ could it be?? Â
I played the Dahli Lama chanting while he was sleeping and he heard it (no benedryl last night) and loved it. He downloaded it to his phone and fell asleep tonight (benedryl tonight) listening to it. I really believe this chanting will help his body get ready for the transplant and to accept the new stem cells. He thinks so too. He is working on his body now preparing it and talking to his cells to accept the new stem cells, a welcoming party if you will. Right Caz?? Martin heard the first note of the chant and immediatley left his body…ok it doesn’t take much for that to happen anyway. But for Martin to be so effected by it, it must be very powerful. Ok, and I was vibrating when I went to bed (Ok, that doesn’t right! )this a.m. I felt such energy in my hands like someone was holding them and my body was vibrating. (out of the gutter people! or am I there by myself as usual! )
SO my night ended up being very beautiful and happy thanks to Andrew! He had visitors from noon till 6p.m. today (it’s still Sunday to me ) He was thrilled! He loved it! Our one friends ordered him Pizza Hut pizza and he was loving that. But we did have a reminder that we are healing leukemia, he was eating the crust when a piece cut the roof of his mouth and he started bleeding. He handled it like he handles everything else, with grace. He just kept a wash cloth w/ice in it in his mouth for awhile. Then kept on eating! He’s an animal!
He didn’t go to sleep till 1a.m.!! and this is a kid with ANC#’s of 30!! Those are the numbers that were at 80,000 when we came back & should be 1500-1800. He’s a machine!!! He feels really good, he looks really good!. Things are a lot easier this time around like we hoped they would be! Long may it reign!!!! Sooooooo ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) TO EVERYONE AND THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME THRU THIS AND STILL LOVING ME!!
THANK YOU FOR ANDREW’S MIRACLEÂ HEALINGÂ AND HEALTHY BONE MARROW!! SO IT IS!