As hard as all of this has been, even with me feeling like I was losing my mind at times, still holding on by a thread, I am still doing better than the average bear dealing with grief…besides Martin.
Martin and I have suffered the ultimate loss a parent can suffer. Our son left in Oct, right before our favorite holidays that we would celebrate together. Yet we:
1.were out, dressed up for Halloween, trick or treating with one of Andrew’s best friend’s little bro. NINE days after our son left us!! NINE DAYS! Andrew and I had plans for Halloween when he was going to be home for 2 weeks from hospital.
2. I made Thanksgiving dinner even tho my family blew me off. We still put our Christmas tree up Thanksgiving Eve like Andrew always did.
3. We still celebrated Christmas like we always did with Andrew, getting up at 6a.m. and opening presents he got for us.
4. We celebrated New Years out, even tho I dreaded ringing in a new year without my son in it.
5. Less than 6 months after our son left, we were back up on stage doing our comedy show!
6. I have continued to write and be very open and honest on this blog about our journey.
7. We celebrated his 17th birthday with a party with his & our friends and ceremony to honor our beloved son.
8. When I started to put on weight, I addressed it right away and started Weight Watchers instead of eating my way through the grief. Food would be my drug of choice but instead I did the right thing and sought out help instead of wallowing in grief through food.
9. We started our radio show again a few months after Andrew left.
10. I wrote the book proposal having to relive Andrew’s diagnosis and crossing over day 9 months after he left!
11. We will be holding a celebration/ceremony on Oct 22, to honor the 1st anniversary of our 17 year-old son’s journey home. We will have a ceremony on Laguna Beach then a party with cake and food after.
We have dealt with all this grief and all the other un-necessary nonsense that has been thrown our way, without any counseling, without any drugs, or drinking ourselves stupid. Not only that, Martin and I have only grown closer and have continued to put ourselves out there. I don’t know of anybody who could do all the things we have done since our son has ascended! I am owning it, I am accepting it, I am patting myself on the back for a job well done!
Would I have preferred to lay in my bed and feel sorry for myself? Hell yes, but I get sore if I lay in bed too long so I have to get up and that pissed me off that I couldn’t even do that.
What I have come to realize is that I am more connected to my Higher Self than I ever realized. I know it is my Higher Self that keeps me on the right track. I could not do this on my own, my mom gene is a mess! It is my Higher Self that keeps it all together. I am so grateful to her! I am grateful for my Higher Self’s strength, wisdom and love! I must really rock on the Other Side! :-D
I decided to honor myself and what I have done so far. I have had a lot of crap thrown my way ALL of my life and I have always come out on top & usually without help from this dimension. This event nearly took me down. But my Higher Self took over yet again!
I want to thank you all for the support you have given here!!
IT’S ALL GOOD!