I am trying ever do desperately to stay focused on who Andrew is now, but I have to tell ya, seeing sons with their parents when I’m out is very hard for me. I miss Andrew soooooo much! We always had such a great time together when ever we went out.
Then I remember that no matter what, Andrew was going to leave. I mean c’mon! LEUKEMIA??? That was so random! You know? He has ALWAYS been healthy, it’s just insane that he was diagnosed with such a rare aggressive disease right out of left field! Then gone after only 3 1/2 months! It’s ridiculous!
Soooooo yesterday I was tired of feeling sad and decided to go into Andrew’s room and work on connecting with him. I know the more I can connect with him now, the more I can feel him with me and get use to who and where he is now.
I sat in his favorite blue recliner in his room where he meditated all of the time. It is really comfortable! I love sitting in it! It’s like the chair is hugging you. It’s great! Now I know why he loved sitting in it all of the time. He did his school work in this chair too while he rocked. Don’t ask me how! He just did. He always liked rocking, ever since he could sit up on his own.
As I sat in his chair and relaxed my mind and just focused on him and visualizing him next to me, I start to feel a buzzing on my 3rd eye. I know that is him kissing me on my forehead. I do feel that several times a day. I also feel his hands on my crown chakra. Sometimes I can feel his individual fingers on the top of my head.
Then something different happened. I felt a buzzing on the bridge of my nose. “Hmmmm this is different” I thought. Then I get a flash of a vision of when Muck use to nibble on the bridge of my nose when he would stand beside me! All I could do was smile. This is one of those times you don’t question it, you just trust it. My Muck was a nibbling on my nose again! It made me feel really good, like he was standing right beside me in person! The only way I can have these times with him, is to not be stuck in grief. It’s a constant challenge let me tell ya! But it is worth the work because the rewards are great! :-D
IT’S ALL GOOD!