Well, I actually think I may be there, at the very least sooooooo close I can touch it! I thought when I was feeling more at peace with things it may have been a fluke. Just a peaceful moment, which is fine by me! I’ll take a peaceful moment! But it’s been a few weeks now and I haven’t had a tidal wave of emotions hit me hard. I think I have finally fully ACCEPTED Andrew’s new position in life.
It doesn’t mean I like it, I just accept it. Or that I don’t miss his physical presence beyond belief! But when I think of him now, or see his picture, I see him for who he is now and it makes me feel good and kinda hopeful because our work together is just starting.
I think because I am connecting to him more is what is helping, but still hoping to have those moments when I can really feel him. It’s hard to explain what I mean. Like that feeling when you get to really see your child come home from college or something. That kind of feeling. I know it is possible.
I think also because the Other Side is becoming more real to me and knowing what is waiting for me when I get to leave really helps me in accepting things. Let’s face it, Earth is only our temporary home. The Other Side is the real deal! I get such a wonderful feeling every time I think of the Other Side and what we have there. It’s our real home & I will get to go back one day and we’ll reminisce of our time here. I don’t want to give Andrew and Martin anymore amo to make fun of me then what they already have on me! LOL
All the “mucklets” he’s been giving me are really working. How many people can’t function for years after losing a child or someone they are very close to. I think I’ve been doing pretty good. I’m hypersensitive & can’t tolerate nonsense and stupid people more, but is that really a bad thing?? :-)
Wesley has been coming here almost every weekend & that is a big help too. I asked Wes if it would be too creepy if I colored his hair brown and spiked it and made him wear blue contacts & Andrew’s clothes and have him do ALL the things me and Andrew did together. He said without missing a beat, “No, that wouldn’t be creepy at all! I’ll do it as long as I have a computer in his bedroom I can use.” LMAO!!! Boys are so easy! He already sez a lot of the things Andrew did and the way Andrew use to say them! What’s a little cut and color??? :-)
SO that’s my project the next time he’s here! He’s a good child!
IT’S ALL GOOD!