I had a dream come true today! After the intense and stressful, more than a year I have had, I have just felt beat up & wiped out. Between Elatia’s health crisis & nearly losing her, Andrew’s diagnosis, then 4 months living in the hospital, Andrew’s ascension, then people dumping their crap on me and trying to call it either Andrew’s or mine, having other kids I knew in the hospital pass on, another one getting ready to, Yea, I’m a bit burned out! Yet I am still standing, barely, but I’m still standing.
An Angel named Kimberly on here, sent me the best gift EVER!! Something I have been wanting for quite awhile. She sent me a FULL DAY at a spa!!! I sat there and cried when I read that! I felt like I won American Idol! I just couldn’t believe it! For over a year, every time I turned around I was getting hit with some HUGE life altering crisis which is sooooooo not my life! We were all focused on our bright future, Andrew was the happiest person I know, loving life like no one I’ve ever seen then BAM! We got hit hard! It feels like it’s been non stop!
Everyone tells you to take care if yourself when in the hospital with a child, but how?? How are we suppose to do that?? We weren’t working, we didn’t have the money to do anything, we wouldn’t leave Andrew anyway, there is no way to take care of yourself. Like I’ve said before, there is a massage therapist for the kids, there is nothing to pamper the parents! There is wish foundations for the kids but nothing for the parents, the unsung heroes in all this. Which is why I wanted to go in and offer manicures to the parents at ACH. I recently realized I wasn’t ready to go back just yet when I heard of some of the kids I knew passing on. I’m still too raw to go back. But I will eventually.
BUT now I have an idea about working with local spas to donate services to parents who are coming down from such a traumatic experience, whether their child makes it or not, parents are under life and death decisions EVERYDAY for months at a time then are thrown out into the outside world expected to carry on like nothing has happened without anytime to pamper themselves or to assimilate what the hell just happened to their lives! It is very traumatic! Never did I ever think I would have this much trauma in my life! And it SUCKS!
When we had to leave unexpectedly ACH, all I could think about was that I had a perfectly healthy 16yo son just 5 months before, what the hell just happened??? I’m going home without my son???!! Seriously?? Somebody wake my a$$ up!!! Get me out of this freakin nightmare & NOW!
But it is my life & my son is not here physically anymore. And I’ve been trying to keep myself together through it all feeling so tired, drained and so defeated. SO today I got a reprieve with a gift certificate to feed my soul again! I am going next week to just be me! To feed my soul, to pamper my wounds, (lick my wounds just didn’t sound right) to allow myself to receive. This is the BEST GIFT EVER!!!!!! I am so excited! I feel like I just won an “Extreme Home Makeover!” (I need mini one of those too!)
I hope you don’t mind Kimberly that I am publicly thanking you. I am just so excited about this gift, this is the best gift anyone could ever receive after going through such trauma! Kimberly had gotten this for a family member that couldn’t use it and decided to give it to me! ME!!!! I can’t stop doing the happy dance! I will be floating on cloud nine in anticipation the rest of this week! AND next week too of course because I go on Tuesday BUT also because my cuz, my playmate from Belfast is coming in next Friday!! I have her dungeo…. I mean room all ready for her so she can’t leave! :-D
Dear God/dess could things finally be on the up swing for me for a freakin change??!! I actually have things to look forward to! I was beginning to think I would never feel any kind of excitement again like this! Thank you Kimberly from the bottom of my heart! *mwwwaaaa!*
IT’S ALL GOOD!