We Can Rebuild Him

Well, once again I’m getting hit with the big ole cosmic baseball bat! Martin and I were so sure without a doubt that the holistic protocol would work on the tumor he has, but it did not. Because our health care system in this country SUCKS so bad, Martin had to return to N Ireland for treatment while I stay here to hold down the fort. Yeah, we’ll see how well that one goes.

Martin and I have not been separated since Andrew left, actually we haven’t been separated in nearly 12 years. We have been like Siamese twins joined at the hip! So not being able to go through this together is extremely hard for me, we’ve been though every trauma together.  But he can get so much better care in N Ireland with his family than he can here in the US with me. He landed today, Jan 23rd and is going to the doctor now. While here in the US you have to jump through so much red tape and hoops to even get the “Affordable Health Care” that you could die in the process! The dr’s wouldn’t see Martin until Feb 1st when the health insurance kicks in, even though it was paid for weeks earlier. Yet while in N Ireland he lands and goes to the dr hours later. I will know later if they admitted him immediately into the hospital or if he will have an appt with a specialist because it’s not that urgent. Hoping for the 2nd option…..Option 2 happened! YAY!

Anyway, this decision was made in a matter of days. Once Martin decided he was going back to N Ireland, he was gone 2 days later with a dr’s appt awaiting him! Why we fight against health care in this country is beyond my comprehension! Why we don’t want to care for one another in this country is beyond me!

Is my head spinning? YES! It’s like what happened with Andrew. One moment we’re together, the next moment our life is ripped apart.

Martin saw an oncologist here after his last ears, nose and throat dr. appt to see how things were. The ENT said that everything looked the same, no change, (which I thought was good, it could have been worse) and he said “let’s go ahead and start the chemo and radiation treatment.” He said it was about 8-12wks  and that this cancer isn’t aggressive, quite common, and doesn’t spread. Well, the oncologist was ALL doom and gloom! The way he was talking, it sounded like the protocol Andrew had! He kept saying how toxic the chemo was, like I already don’t know that?? I got a front row seat to chemo’s concert! I can’t even repeat all the nonsense he told us!

I was beside myself to say the least wondering how I was going to watch somebody else I love so much go through this kind of treatment again! That’s when Martin contacted his family and his oldest sister told him to come home and she would get him all sorted out. She would arrange the dr appointments and take care of him. She loves her broken baby birds! LOL She is a foster parent for wounded or sick animals, so she literally loves her broken baby birds or hedge hogs or snakes or…big brother. She said he could have his reversal surgery while there too, get his teeth done and eyes checked.

So as my head is spinning from all of this, with all they are going to be doing to Martin, I hear Andrew say, “We can rebuild him!” While it made me chuckle, I said to him, “Shut up! You’re  such a douche! Now go fix your father dammit!” And we both laughed. I realized Andrew was right, they really are kinda rebuilding Martin. I love our moments when it’s so hard and stressful, and yet my Muck can still make me laugh through the trauma, proving that laughter is the highest vibration. Laughter IS the best medicine for stress! Cancer? You need a bit more, but it certainly does help!

While I’ll hear Andrew, it’s usually when I least expect it. It’s not like I have the full on conversations with him like Martin does, but I am working on it. I appreciate my mini convos with Andrew regardless, they help  me cope with all the shit storms that are thrown my way.

I guess it’s Andrew’s way of letting me know that no matter how hard things get….


We CAN rebuild him!

We CAN rebuild him!

If you want to help me keep things going here while Martin heals cancer,  you can support our amazing work by buying our digital downloads or art at shop.psychicliving.com

OR if you are feelin really generous and just want to donate you can go to: gofundme/martinshealing

We are deeply grateful to all of you who have supported us on the first part of this journey.


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