So Happy Birthday to me! :-D I’m glad that we were teaching a psychic development class on my b-day. I wanted to be busy doing something I like to do. Not to mention we had a few days earlier in the week at a hotel on the water in St Pete Bch. BUT nothing can top 2 yrs ago when I got to bring Andrew home from the hospital for 6 days on my 46th birthday. What can top that?? NOTHING! Well, astral traveling & spending time with Andrew & hugging him would come really, really close. Hope I don’t have to wait until my next birthday for that to happen.
Andrew did let me know he was around. While at Under The Gypsy Moon, they had Fairy of The Woods CD playing, I’ve never heard it there before. It was Andrew’s fav CD when he was 9-10yo. I woke up every morning to that cd playing while he rocked in the living room recliner and did his school work. It was such a lovely, peaceful way to start our day. It was a wonderful gift to be taken back to that time. I knew, even back then, that Muck was creating a beautiful memory for us. Little did I know it would be such a great gift in this way, bittersweet so it is.
After the class, we went to Chili’s for their yummeeeee, to die for, white chocolate molten cake. :-D It is white chocolatey heavenly goodness! :-) We sat at a table but was ignored by the waiter. Seriously? Me? Kinda hard to ignore me! He kept walking by us and not saying a word. I don’t care if you are busy, it only takes a second to say “I’ll be right w/you.” When you start cleaning a table when there is a bus boy cleaning them, you are ignoring your tables! I wanted to punch him in the neck and say ‘HEY BUDDY, GIMME MY G.D. CAKE! I’m a red headed, Leo, menopausal, Witch. Really?? You gonna ignore me! Not a good idea dude!
I was physically feeling the pull to sit at the bar. I wanted my cake DAMMIT! LET ME EAT CAKE fer feck sake! So we sit at the bar and what does the bartender say? “I’ll be right with you.” Now was that so hard???
We sit there then a woman sits beside me. I heard she just moved from California so that started a conversation. I had to know where so I asked her. She was from Laguna Bch! OMG Like my fav place so far in Cali! Well, we were there for a few hours talking to my new BFF Gretchen. :-) I had such a nice time talking with her. Of course we talked about Andrew, my fav subject. ;-) She is in the hotel biz, sales and marketing. She even asked if I thought about doing our concert at a hotel. Funny she should ask! When I was trying to find a Marriott to stay at, I was thinking of how I’d LOVE to have our concert at a hotel. You know, sell out a 2,000 seat ball room, we’d get the kick ass suite for free, and get treated like a Queen & King, metaphysical rock stars, blah, blah, blah. A Witch can dream can’t she? :-D
Today Martin did his thang at Crepes and More & we had a good time. A few more leads there too. When Martin was unloading the car he thought it was me standing there beside him, waiting to help him, which shoulda been his first clue! LOL Me? Help? hahahahaha When he looked, it was ANDREW! Martin saw Muck’s big grin then he was gone. Well, Andrew wasn’t ‘gone’, Martin was shocked out of his high vibration is my guess. I better keep my eye on the Martman! Because he may end up vibrating outta here and I am NOT having that unless we vibrate outta here together! It’s not as kinky as it sounds but is as fun is my guess judging by the vibrartions I have experienced! :-p
When I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom the other night, I think I must have an enlarged prostate or something, :-p or maybe I drink too much water before bed. Anyway, I heard talking, I thought the tv went on after we went to bed. We’ve had tv’s go on since Andrew left so I thought maybe that this is what this was, Muck doin his thing. ;-) As I’m in the bathroom and listening to see if it’s really the tv, I definitely heard people talking. SO I go out to ck and all is dark and there’s no tv on! Dunno who I was hearing, but I know I heard talking, it’s weird.
I had to go to the bank and went late tonight around 11:30pm. I wasn’t too thrilled about going on my own but I had to go tonight. I kept telling myself not to go to that space of fear of going to the bank ATM late at night. I’m usually not like that, I mean it’s Sarasota after all not Ft Laud. Where was Martin? Just started an “instance” on WOW, don’t ask. So I load up my co-dependant, 9 lb, long haired weiner dog, Merlin, and off I go. As I get close to the bank I notice that Andrew heard my concern of being a gorgeous, Goddess morsel, going to the bank late at night alone. There were 3 cop cars in the parking lot by the bank. You can’t get any safer than that! As I saw the ‘po po’ lights, I felt Andrew’s energy and ‘heard’ I got your back Mommy! I felt Andrew watching out for his Pretty Mama. He wanted me to feel safe going to the bank tonight and I did. He’s a good son!
IT’S ALL GOOD!
He did his job and made his presence felt all through the day. :-))))))))) What a nice son! I was outside in my lawn and telling him (pestering), “Can’t you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease show up to Connie on her birthday? I don’t know how it works. Martin sees you, but she can’t. So can you please show up to her as well?”. Well, I walk back to my door and see a flyer on my door “MARTIN carpet cleaners”. Sigh! Dunno what that means…does it mean that for now only Martin can see…or that Martin needs to come clean my carpet? I think it must be the latter…what do you think Connie? :-P.
Yup, Martin needs to come by and clean your carpet! hehehehehe
I know it’s not Andrew’s issue Swati, it is me that needs to work on my energy, I haven’t fully let go of his physical presence & accepted his new/original one. I know I will get there one day tho. Maybe getting out there and volunteering w/LLS & doin the concerts more will help me. I know sitting around the house with all the reminders of his physical presence doesn’t help me move on as quick as I would like BUT I can’t imagine not having them either. It just takes time & I have more or less accepted that.
Thanks Swati for always talking to Andrew! ((((HUGS))))
I wish you more letting go. :)
Why can’t I get my head around fully letting go?? There’s a part of me (the mama gene) that is just afraid to let go of the physical, which is already gone mind you, so duh!, but somehow fully accepting it feels like I’d be saying goodbye when it is really saying HELLO! That mama gene really prolongs the grieving process! I never expected it to get in the way, but I NEVER expected to lose a child either. You’d think the less estrogen I get and the more hair in weird places, it’d get easier! BUT that mama gene stays strong and is not effected by hormone changes & menopause. I’m still a mom. *sigh*
Mom is such a powerful word!! Hugs!