I finally have the time and computer juice to write about this. With posts like these I really need the time and space to get into the energy of it. It takes a lot to write posts like these because it brings up those emotions again & I need the energy to be able to do it.
We had the memorial on Tuesday Dec. 4th at his Aunt Julie’s house. We had a packed house. I got to see our 20 yr. old nephew, Patrick, whom I haven’t seen in 4 1/2 years. He shared a room with Andrew when we were here in 2003. Apparently Andrew talked the ear off him! LOL Patrick was trying to study but Andrew kept talking so he decided to just listen to him instead of studying. Ok, he knew Andrew wasn’t going to shut up and decided to just pack in the studying. :-D
I remember that year because Patrick was saying the girls wouldn’t quit calling in for Andrew! He said he remembered when they were always looking for him but now it’s Andrew they seek. Things were no different last year either when we were here. Julie was trying to find Andrew to take him to his Aunt Karen’s for HIS 15th b-day party/bbq but she couldn’t find him. He was way up the hill in her back yard surrounded by 6 girls! LOL He was always popular when he came to Ireland! He was known as the cute, rich, Yank! That’s because he would “Win Granny Jordan’s Money!” LOL She always had a few hundred Â£Â£Â£ sterling waiting for him which is about $350-$400! Although last time he saved it all for his computer. He didn’t spend it all on his cousins & friends.
When Martin got up that morning, Andrew said “Ok, Daddy, let’s write something for tonight” & he wrote 5 pages to read at the memorial.
People started arriving for the memorial. It was emotional because none of us could believe why we were gathering. It is still so unreal. I have to say everyone held it together. Granny Jordan didn’t think she was going to make it but she did. That was a nice surprise. It gave her closure.
Julie made green and white ribbons that said “It’s All Good” on them. Martin, Elatia, and I got the white ones. Everyone else got the green ones. I thought that was a beautiful idea. It was for us to put on the holly tree in Julie’s back yard after Martin spoke. I put on the John Denver cd as we got started going out side. Well, you know that got some tears going! We all noticed how the wind felt more like a gentle, warmer breeze now. Andrew was into air bending when he was here so we thanked him for helping us out!
Martin read what Andrew had dictated. Of course there was laughter with that. He likes to keep it light. Then I said a few words to his cousins & friends who he loved spending time with here. I could hardly get it out because I was choked up with tears & they started flowing not just from me but from everyone else. I felt this way because 1. from the love I felt for them from Andrew & 2. because Andrew wasn’t here physically. It’s still all so surreal. Tears even well up now thinking about it. It still hits me very hard at times. The hospital pics are especially hard for me. I guess because we spent the last 3 1/2 months of his life there and we became even closer.
Julie then dug a small hole by the lavender bush she had planted about a year ago to put the wee container with his ashes in it *more tears* she didn’t want them blowing around, she wanted them to stay in her yard and I agreed. That’s what I wanted too. Then we each took a turn and put dirt on top of he container then hung our ribbons on the holly tree.
Of course as we finished up & most were inside, the song “My Sweet Lady” by JD came on and I started to really cry. That was the first song Martin ever sang to me which is why Andrew learned to play it, he wanted to play it for me too and he did beautifully! Not only that, it was at Julie’s house where Martin first sang it to me back in 1988. It made me cry back then because I was leaving Ireland soon and didn’t known when/if I would see Martin again. Martin’s & my relationship started at Julie’s house, the same house, nearly 20 yrs. ago when I went to Ireland to see Martin again after 12 yrs. Now we are there to have a memorial for our son who has ascended because it was his fav place to be when we come over. Not a full circle moment I ever wanted to have! Martin and I just hugged each other and danced to the song as I cried remembering all this while Martin wiped my tears.
Inside, everyone was in the kitchen eating, chatting and sharing their fav Andrew story. It was really great to have so much family around that loved Andrew. I don’t have a lot of family in Fla. so this was really nice to have so many around to share in our grief and our joy and love for Andrew. We were working on spending more time in Ireland eventually because I wanted Andrew to be around his Irish family more. He loved being around them.
As hard as it was, it was also really beautiful and filled with a lot of love!
IT’S ALL GOOD!