WARNING! I am very honest in this blog. I didn’t describe everything, but I do explain most of it. Not for the faint at heart.

I know our whole experience with Andrew was an incredible one. But the more I think about it the more I realize what an incredible honor all this has been. Not only did we have the honor of being entrusted with raising an Avatar but also being an intricate part of his journey home, his ascension. What a powerful experience. It’s as sacred as helping a soul make their journey here, giving birth.

We know how amazing Andrew is but there were times when Martin and I would just look at each other in awe because we knew we were in the presence of greatness!

Like the night in PICU the first time when he first got off the ventilator. That night Martin and I both bathed him as he taught us. The information coming from this “16 yr. old boy” as we bathed him was astounding! There are no words to adequately describe what that was like. It was sacred and holy, we were humbled by him. What an incredible feeling it was!

Then as the weeks turned into months, he never wavered from his positive attitude or his beliefs or his teaching. It only brought out more of his courage and grace. Here this 16 yr. old boy had to allow his parents to bathe him, clean him after the bed pan, measure all his fluids, change him, wait on him hand and foot, & he surrendered to the process with such dignity and ease. It was inspiring!

Even when he was going to be intubated again, he was nervous but Martin explained it to him why it had to be done, to ease his fears. He looked at Martin, asked for some soda which he wasn’t allowed. Martin gave it to him anyway. Andrew looked Martin in the eye and said “OK, let’s do this Daddy.” Those were his last words that he ever spoke.

Andrew was always willing to do whatever it took because he figured it was one step closer to recovery. As much as he didn’t want to be intubated again, he was willing to go through it if it meant he could get better.

Then a little while later Martin was pushed out of the room energetically like I mentioned before, Andrew’s room filled with a brilliant White Light and a beautiful, powerful Being appeared. That’s when Martin knew for sure Andrew would be going “Home.” All the medical attention, love, wishing & energy work in the world wasn’t going to keep him here. Not even as much as Andrew wanted to stay, it wasn’t going to happen.

The actual time of having to call his time of death was traumatic. Seeing them doing compressions on him and the look on EVERYONE’S face in the PICU, down to the cleaning people’s faces was traumatic. Seeing my son in nothing but a diaper as they worked on him was traumatic. Seeing the blood splattered on the equipment & in his breathing tube was traumatic. Going in and having to tell them to stop compressions, then watching as all the lines went flat & hearing that horrible sound that we’ve all heard on ER or Grey’s Anatomy was traumatic. Seeing my baby boy laying there, holding his hand to my cheek as my tears flowed down my face, knowing he would never talk to me again, was traumatic. Yet I couldn’t scream or faint or throw anything, or do a god damn thing! All of that was traumatic.

We waited in the hall as they cleaned him up, DRESSED him & got all the equipment out of the room. Then when we went back in, it was peaceful. We bathed him for the last time, that was peaceful & sacred. When Martin started telling me what Andrew was saying, that was peaceful. When Andrew told him what song to play on his phone and asked us to dance, that was peaceful. Dancing with my husband next to our ascended son while Martin wiped my tears & told me what Andrew was saying, that was sacred. Andrew putting a smile on his face to show me he was still around, was peaceful. Our time alone with our son before family arrived was sacred & intimate. It was a Holy time. It was very special. I’m so glad we had that time with him. To help a soul transition is an honor and very sacred thing to be able to do, no matter how hard it is, no matter who it is, even when its your 16 yr. old son it is still an incredible honor.

There are no words to describe what it is like to share a journey like this with the person you have loved since you were 13. To share it with him and your child. This whole experience has brought us so close on a very deep level. A level I did not even know existed.

At the time it was so incredibly hard and devastating. It still is. Only now I can see how lucky we are to have been allowed to go on this journey with Andrew. Not everyone could handle a journey like this one & be able to continue the work that is to be done now. DO I know exactly what that entails? Ummm no. I just know I’m up for it!

I didn’t just lose my son, I helped an Avatar make his journey home and fulfill his life purpose here. THAT’S HUGE! AND….


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  1. Swati says:

    Oh Connie…I don’t know what to say :(. I can’t even imagine what you must have gone through to see all of that happening. What blessing that Martin is such an accomplished medium.

    Hugs to you…lots of them..

  2. Leah Clark says:

    I remember when my father-in-law (who was like a father to me) passed – he’d had a heart attack and never regained consciousness. We were in church that morning, planning to go to the hospital afterward, when Max got the call. As soon as I heard his phone go off, I knew it was time. I remember seeing Dad’s room in my mind’s eye – and this was before I knew anything about LOA or Angels or anything – and there were SO many angels! I realize now that’s what I really was seeing. And standing there in the room while the machines were turned off and the monitors stopped – that is truly a sacred experience. I did that when Sarah’s dad passed, too. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced or ever will again.
    I remember getting the text from you that just said, “He’s gone.” I was so shocked and saddened for you and Martin. I do remember thinking, “How awesome that Martin will still be able to see and hear him.” I felt a little irreverent saying that, but now I realize that it’s all true!
    And I’m grateful to be able to be on this journey with you. :)

  3. Dana says:

    That brought tears to my eyes!

  4. admin says:

    I hope it also touched your heart in some way too Dana!

    If it weren’t for Martin I wouldn’t have gotten through this Swati. And I will take those hugs! :-D

    I think that’s why I wanted to share this Leah. You know what I’m trying to say here. As hard as it was to share this with my son, it was an incredible honor too! I feel so blessed to have had this time with him. I am so grateful he didn’t cross in an accident. That Andrew was willing to go through all of what he did so we could have that sacred time together. He is just an amazing soul and I have the honor of calling him my son!

  5. Leila says:


    One can feel the Love and sacredness of it all through your words.
    Thank you for sharing such an intimate glimpse of Andrew’s ascension.

    More love and hugs to you Pretty Mama.

  6. Dana says:

    *quote*I hope it also touched your heart in some way too Dana!*quote*

    A body would have to be heartless not to be touched by your story!

    I was with my own father when he crossed. He had a blot clot go thru his lungs. I was the last one to see him while he was still connected to this earth as I heard him when he fell. He was going fast tho. I’m pretty sure he was gone by the time I called my mom to come and help me (he actually fell in the bathtub and was sinking under the water. I was trying to hold him up above the water and get the tub drained at the same time. )

    I was also first on the scene of an accident where a young man of 18 was killed on impact. I began praying for him (while beginning first aid), but I felt angels around me saying – well – I’m not sure I can adequately voice it – but basically that he was ‘gone’ and not to worry. It was actually very peaceful. I was also able to be a comfort to his family knowing that someone caring was with their son immediately after he passed. Tis a creepy feeling to listen for a heartbeat and none is there!

    I don’t know how well I would hold up tho like you and Martin did. I’d probably just lose it. But then, we never know what we are made of until we are put to the test.

    Your story brought back many emotions.


  7. Karen T. says:

    This blog entry made me cry, made me feel such awe and peace, made me even more aware of the power of everything that is happening for you and Martin and in turn, the rest of us, as you are both strong enough to share!

    Huge hugs!

    Karen T.

  8. Swati says:

    [quote]A body would have to be heartless not to be touched by your story!

    Absolutely. How can anyone not be touched by what you wrote here?

  9. Tammy says:

    I have some reading to do…..but I wanted to check in & just tell you that I am STILL Looking for the damn report…please tell Andrew to return it;0)

    Love Ya

  10. admin says:

    Thank you all for sharing this with me and understanding why. As hard as something like this is, it is also quite profound. I wish it didn’t have to be with Andrew but it was.

    It was my goal to touch hearts and feel the peace and feel how powerful something like this is.

    I see you understand as well Dana. Thank you and Leah for sharing!


  11. jessica says:

    We have talked about this on the phone but he was just so beautiful and I did see that smile that night :) it was just priceless!!!!!

  12. Dulcy says:

    ((((Connie)))), your words resonate with sacred awesomeness…Even a spiritually “asleep” individual would “awaken” after reading this…Please put this blog entry in your book for those people.

    Thank you so much for sharing these sacred moments with us…

    All My Love,

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