Martin and I will be performing Oct 18th at the Sedona Creative Life Center in Arizona. We had to send them info for their website plus a pic of each of us. I did not know that by giving my links to websites that they would go a hunting for more pics! I think it is funny what they did! You gotta check it out! Click on the link, then go down to Oct 18th “Comedy Central Meets Crossing Cover” You’ll see the pic I did NOT send them used for the 1st page. Click on that to see the rest. Elatia go a kick outta it. Sedona Creative Life
This is what I have been busy doing, getting ready for our upcoming shows. Each place requires different things and in my state of mind, it takes me a while to get things straight.
IT’S ALL GOOD!
I love that picture they have used of you! You look LOVELY! And way to go on booking all these events!! Wooohooooo!!! Wishing for many many more to come.
Leah, where are you?? What happened on last Wednesday?
That photo is just so YOU. Gorgeous.
What a fabulous blurb about you both too.
You said “Each place requires different things and in my state of mind, it takes me a while to get things straight.”
Be gentle with yourself, you are doing pretty darn good for having been what you have been through for the last 18 months.
Thanks Swati and Jane. I think I forget to be gentle with myself because 1. I just want to get going on the bigger purpose of this whole nightmare. Sitting around the house as much as I do really gets to me, and at times feel I am losing my mind. The grief is overwhelming! 2. my family gave me absolutely no space to be the grieving mother and at Christmas to boot. I have to quit being as hard on myself as they have been to me. Whenever I have been in crisis, they have been hard on me. Both my mother and sister sided with my 1st ex-husband even tho it was him that had originally wanted the separation & I was devastated. It was ok all the times he forgot my birthday, mother’s day, and put me 2nd. In fact they have been closer to him than me since I met him at 16yo. My sister moved out at 16yo but when I was kicked out a few months later I was the bitch. “How can you do this to mom!”
Yet, I was always there for them. My sister finally admitted that to me a few years ago. She recognized that her and my mother have never been there for me but I was always there for them. My mother and step father have lived with me, my sister had lived with me 3 times. I would pick her up in the middle of the night when she was pregnant when her husband was getting abusive. I took her in when my niece was 3 months old and she had no where to go, no car, no job. I went with her to welfare to help her get set up.
BUT my mother couldn’t give me my space on Christmas Eve, the 1st one w/o my son, when I wanted to share something with everyone that brought me joy with Andrew. The “Elf Yourself” that is on this website caused a rif between me and my family. Un-feakin-believable! My parents pissed all over it, then I had to hear how hard on was on THEM to watch and how hard it’s been on THEM since Andrew left!!
Soooo as you can imagine I did not take that well. How hard it was on THEM???!!! They missed half Andrew’s life because of their nonsense and now it’s hard on THEM! SO with a glass of wine in me and a green felt Christmas tree with bobbles on my head I lost it! I went off on my step father and he still tried to defend his position which made me lose it more. I was a mad woman, it sent me over the edge. My mother came out trying to calm me down. Ok, how they couldn’t laugh at me is beyond me! Me “losing the bap” (Irish expression) with a Christmas tree on my head had to be a site to behold! My family have no sense of humor. Since then my mother has not called me to see how my 1st Christmas was w/o my beloved son. My sister hasn’t called since Mother’s Day which is fine by me because I end up having to console her and I don’t need that.
I don’t know why I expect anything different from them. I am the outsider, I always have been, mainly because I won’t brush things under the rug and pretend they never happened. I do this really weird thing and talk about it and heal it. I’m just glad Denise was there to witness this, she saw that I wasn’t out of line and didn’t start anything. My step father brought me outside which was a HUGE mistake, now he was just poking the angry grieving bear. How dumb was that?? I just let it go that they pissed all over the joyful moment I wanted to share and chalked it up to typical behavior. He wouldn’t drop it.
Wow! I guess I needed to write that one out. I never know what simple thing will bring stuff up now. I just now realized why I am so hard on myself. When you have had a family always be that way toward you, you fall into the pattern. SO thank you (((Jane))) for helping me to recognize this so I can release it. They don’t deserve that power over me! Just another layer.
As far as the pics, I can’t believe they used the family portrait! LMAO! The caption on myspace reads, “Andrew finally getting his wish, Martin living his dream, and Chrissy, well, she lived w/us for 6months…it took its toll” LOL
I thought they we just going to use the 2 pics I sent, that’s it! Imagine my surprise! We sent them 3 different e-mails with info and they mixed it all up. I think they did a great job. I just thought they would throw it up there they way we sent it. They really put some thought into it.
I can’t believe your family! What problem could they have with the Elf thing? I can’t imagine. What did they have to say about it? And what could the Elf card do that it caused this rift between you and your family?
Isn’t your sister the one who missed Andrew so much because he was the only man who treated her well? Or is that someone else?
I am glad you were able to talk about all this. Yes, one more layer off.
And yes, you always seem to forget to be gentle with yourself. Maybe we should tape up this message on every wall in your house, “Connie, please be gentle with yourself. Let yourself grieve when you have to. Don’t feel guilty when you grieve….cuz for Heavens’ sake your loss is great, even if you realize it is a physical loss, and that in Spirit, in his true form he is always with you!”. Physical loss is tremendous…as you already know. Despite knowing all the truths…that death is an illusion etc, it still hurts. So let yourself grieve. Just because you know and realize these truths of life does not mean you are not allowed to grieve like a mum. Sending you lots of love….
Hugs,
Swati
Oh and I forgot to add, Dana sends her best to you and Martin. She has all but disappered from the face of the internet world, extremely busy with her nursing classes, exams and the work. I can’t wait for her course to get over! LOL!
I had written an answer and it just disappeared so I will have to come back later and re do it! DAMMIT!
I loved the pictures and the blurb(?) Congratulations!!! Knowing and affirming that ALL of your shows will be sold out with a waiting list to boot!
“SO with a glass of wine in me and a green felt Christmas tree with bobbles on my head I lost it!”
((((Connie)))) sorry but I just laughed out loud at this-the visual was just too damn funny! *Family* geez I don’t know what to say–well I do but I choose not to here ;-)
Oodles of love to you!
See Leila?? Funny, right?? I know I couldn’t have taken me seriously ranting away like a lunatic with a damn x-mas tree on my head! You’d think that alone would’ve diffused the situation.
I don’t get what their problem was the the Elf thing either Swati. For me, it brought me a lot of joy and a bit of normalcy for our 1st x-mas w/o Andrew physically. And if it brought me joy. They should have honored that instead of making it all about them! For them it was too hard to watch because they like to wallow in grief and self pity. I was trying to bring a little joy & laughter for the holidays and NOT be in my grief, and it was pissed all over. Elatia did a very thoughtful thing for me and I laughed so hard when I saw it. It caught me off guard and I was ROFLMAO! And stupid me thought my family would appreciate it too. I’ll never learn! Well, I have now! I have no family on my side, so it’s taken care of. All my family is in Ireland.
As far as my sister, she said she wanted to be closer to me. But when she blamed Martin and thought that he should have been able to keep Andrew here, I knew I needed to keep my distance if I am ever going to heal. She actually said to me “If Martin is so powerful, how come he couldn’t keep Andrew here?” I said “Because Andrew’s Guides showed up to take him, and pushed Martin out of the room.” She replied “Well, Martin is in the physical and should have been stronger than any spirit.” Why would I bother staying in contact with some one who more or less blames my husband for my son leaving? PLUS I shouldn’t have to be the one to stay in touch!
I have a friend in So-Cal that I’ve only seen a few times in person and she called me every week to see how I was doing for months. We still usually talk every week. People that are supposedly close to me don’t even do that. Well, it just means some room has been made in my life for some REAL loving people and great things to come in now. Time to thin the herd so we can build it back up again stronger and better than ever. :-D
Thank you to all of you here for being so loving and supportive! It means a lot!!!
OMG Connie – I love that pic of you!!! And I love that they used Carole’s testimonial – my names in it!!! hahaha AH ALERT!!! (Attention Ho) I think you forget to be gentle with yourself because you’re human and you’re a woman. Hey, aren’t we supposed to birth babies, clean the house, AND make dinner? All at the same time????? LOL It just hit me that the year anniversary is coming up. Sometimes it seems like forever, and sometimes it seems like yesterday. I still don’t know how you get out of bed in the morning at this point, so I’m still in awe. And families are just wack. Just completely wack. I can’t explain it, I just know that it’s true. So just know that you’ve been adopted by all of us, we’ll be your family, and the rest of them can go to H-E-Double Hocky Sticks. Even though that doesn’t really exist. LOL!!! Love you!!!!
Thank you (((((Leah))))) I have been tryin to get adopted for years now! I have always said I must be adopted because I just don’t fit into this family. We know there is a difference between Earth family and Soul family anyway. BUT, I have also found that those I thought were Soul family in deed are NOT!
I was thinking the same, OMG! Leah’s name is in this, I would sooo be diggin that if that was me! Glad to see that you are! :-D
OH! you gotta check out the site again, they added a pic of Muck!
[quote]She replied “Well, Martin is in the physical and should have been stronger than any spirit.â€[/quote] What??? Was she serious??
I am afraid so Swati. Very serious. You see what I am up against??!!
(((Connie))) for what it’s worth, I thought the elf thing was hilarious. And as for the earth family? Time to let go?
There are plenty of people who love and accept you for the beautiful being that you are. Jane xxxx
Just found myself humming the Beatles ‘Let it be’
Oh it’s time to let go alright Jane! AND let it be! Got Letting Go card in the fairy deck as well…several times!
The Elf yourself was freaking hilarious wasn’t it??? Elatia did the St Paddy’s JobJab for me too. OMG!! another ROFLMAO moment. I think I posted it here. It’s on my myspace page as well. I watch it when I want a good laugh!