We stay so strong through all this. Well, it boils down to walking our talk is all. If we were to fall apart and drown ourselves in addictions or whatever dysfunction of choice then all the stuff we believe in and have taught is all BS!
Do we grieve? Hell yes! Our moments now are not as intense or as often, like every other minute but they are there. We will forever miss having Andrew with us physically. There is no substitute for that as much as Andrew would like there to be. Martin is having an easier time as he is always talking with Andrew. I’m still working on get a clearer connection and the only way to do that is to not wallow in grief.
SO as you can see my my tolerance is quite low for people NOT walking their talk! If Martin and I can walk our talk through the worst tragedy a parent can go through, I will NOT tolerate those who do not! Especially so called “healer teachers!” There is absolutely no excuse for that! Talking about ZERO TOLERANCE?? I have none, nada, zero! I think it is totally shameful! Your out there teaching people heal themselves when your own life is a toxic dump and your kids are suffering?? NO EXCUSE! I’ve seen to many so called Light Workers sitting in their shit yet try to tell others how to heal theirs?? C’mon!
It’s one thing to be on the healing journey while teaching others. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s about complaining about others not doing the work while you sit in a pile of shit yourself! Not even on the pile, IN the pile! As I like to say “Is the view from inside your colon that good??!”
Martin and I are just doing the only thing we know how to do, love each other and put into practice what we teach and believe.
If I had to go through this all by myself?? Well then I would not have faired so well. I would not be typing here that is for sure. I would be done with this lousy ass planet and it’s inhabitants. I mean there is only so much one person can take! And I have had my fill! OOops Mom grief again! My bad! ;-p Andrew doesn’t like that! Oh yea?? Well he doesn’t get a say since he got to leave! He IS grounded when I get over there! LOL
I also have to say NO ONE gets anywhere of value by themselves! Having the love and support Martin and I have had over these past 4 months has been a tremendous help! We could not have done it alone! We want to thank each one of you for that!! Y0u have held the space for us when we were not able. We are so grateful! We must’ve done something right!
IT’S ALL GOOD!
You are doing more than just walking your talk…heck you are RUNNING your talk! I think walking one’s talk is the most difficult thing. We can all easily preach. But to follow our own preachings is the toughest thing to do. I said you are “running” your talk because not only are you dealing with your pain gracefully and with wisdom, you are also helping others heal at this time. You know how so many people were affected by Andrew’s saying bye bye to us all….many many people reacted like they had lost their own child. And you are bringing healing to all of them by sharing with them your lives, sharing with them your ANDREW, and teaching them about whats really important in life.
Can I give you tons of hugs this morning?
Love,
Swati
Connie – you and your family have been and continue to be an inspiration to me every day. Thank you for allowing us to be on this journey with you.
(((((hugs!)))))
yes you may Swati!! :-D
I guess I haven’t really thought about how much of an impact all this has had & continues to have on so many people! Thank you for reminding me!
I knew Andrew did, but I guess I forget that it has continued on. Thank you ALL for always loving and supporting us & ALWAYS being there!
I guess I feel like the lucky one that so many want to be on this hard journey with us. I know it hasn’t been easy. But I’m glad you all have come along for the ride!! :-D It has helped me sooooo much not to feel alone!
I’ve added a bit more to the blog. Will probably edit again later as I have to go now and see about getting my car fixed that was hit back in July at the hospital.
You and your family are always on my mind everyday– MY prayers continue with you connie- and I agree completely about the not walking your walk as I have come across some doosies in my life- great lessons though to show one what not to do. God bless you. Love Julia
Connie, if it is ok to share, can you tell me what really happened with Andrew at school that you decided to home school him? I have wanted to home school my kiddies, but Natasha WANTS to be in school. I have been wondering about this option for Ujjwal. I cannot say why I wish for this option…because I really can’t think of any reasons as such…its just a feeling inside. The other thing is, hubby is very very “main stream”. He had never even heard of the concept of homeschooling I think (its unheard of in our country and culture, besides the fact that he is all left brain!). LOL!!! So that is a problem ;). Anyhow, I’d like to know what happened with Andrew. Maybe it will help me think better, decide better in Ujjwal’s case when he is old enough to start schooling.
((((((hugs))))))
Swati
Andrew had a mild form of tehrets, i.e.facial ticks and made sounds. It wasn’t anything so terrible. But in 4th grade it got so out of control. The school didn’t have room for the class he qualified for so they put him in the behavioral problem class which was soooooo not him! He was NOT a behavioral problem! The school work was below his level. The teachers were horrible! But Andrew stood his ground when he was in trouble. LOL I was so proud of him & we’d back him up.
His facial ticks went to upper body ticks that got so bad that it was causing him pain in his neck & shoulders! During the winter break of 4th grade I pulled him out of school and the ticks subsided and eventually went away all together.
Andrew thrived w/home schooling. Not all kids will. It was right for Andrew and he knew he had the option to go back anytime he wanted. He wanted no part of school. And now we know why! He was waaaaaay beyond any school here!
I hope this answers your question.
Thanks Connie! That makes sense. And I can’t believe they put him in a behavioral problem class!! Andrew???? Behavioral problem?? Huh?? Even I who has never set eyes on him finds that totally absurd. And it makes complete sense that he was completely fine after he was taken out of such an atmostphere.
Hugs,
Swati
Hi, Connie.
YOU CRACK ME UP
“Is the view from inside your colon that good??!â€
ROFLMAO!!! None of us is perfect.
You know what happened over the weekend? I was at a shamanism workshop with Rick and we were trying to get back to the workshop in time and I really really had to pee–and I had his camera because I had the umbrella and I ran into the ladies room…. and I hung up the camera and our stuff but it fell on the bathroom floor. Crack!!!
So speaking of shit, even though I was peeing, that was what came out of my mouth…. I ended up breaking off the mountings on the lens that held it to the camera body (it’s a Canon digital slr.)
OMG, I run back to class and say I’m sorry I think I broke your camera, I dropped it. And he’s like “I really need to start trusting my intuition, I felt like I needed to be carrying it but didn’t want to chase after you.”
Well hello, we both learned lessons AND he didn’t get pissed at me and I didn’t get all crazy distracted poor me and we were able to concentrate on our class okay. AND the angels helped me find a replacement lens for him on Monday for $30 less than the online guys, locally. Woo hoo.
So what I mean to share is sometimes the colon starts clearing out and you don’t even know. If this had happened a year ago, we would have SO not been okay with it.
So I think you’ve been on the journey a long time and that helps you guys cope so well with your grief and all this.
Love to you and your family,
Sue
Well Sue, I had to find a creative way of saying “get your head out of your ass” with having kids around & being on public boards. :-D It’s one of my favs too! YOu’re the first to bring it up! LOL Here’s a few more….
sphincter muscle=a$$hole
anal opening= a$$hole
sphincter wipe=a$$wipe
Hmmmmm not sure why they all revolve around the ass LOL
As we go through major trauma in life it tends to put into perspective about NOT sweating the small stuff!