I do have something to write about. I went on Andrew’s myspace to leave him a comment. Found out that Elatia did the same thing today too. I guess grieving minds think alike. He had some mail. One was from a 17yr old kid saying he hasn’t talked to him in awhile and wanted to know when Andrew was going to be on rune scape again. To please contact him.

So I contacted him to tell him that Andrew had passed away. As I was doing this I was crying, ok more like sobbing. I will never get over this. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I gotta quit crying! Between the freezing dry air and my tears, I’m going to look like a prune by the time I get home! There won’t be any amount of humidity to smooth out my dried up face if I don’t knock it off soon!! But as KC reminde me, its better to just get it out as it comes instead of doing it like slowly letting the air out of a balloon a squeak at a time.

I had gone through Andrew’s mail before he ascended and he never told anyone of his myspace only friends that he was talking to, that he was in the hospital. When they’d ask how he was doing he’d ALWAYS say AWESOME! He just amazes me! I don’t know how he did it because I am unable to do it now. I want to, but I just can’t. I’m too devastated. I’ve been having too many mom moments lately.

We went to the once a month Sunday brunch we go to at my friend Ole’s house this past Sunday. We met in comedy class & have been friends ever since. He lost his son 5 yrs ago, his son was like 27 I think. Ole did something very cool Sunday, he asked Martin how Andrew was! I really appreciated that! It made me feel like there is no separation. For me, I want to keep talking about Andrew. I want to talk about what he’s been up to. He is still a part of our family. Not the way I want, but he still is!!! Who knows, maybe by us doing this, people might realize there is no separation between here and “there.” Then maybe our vibrations will rise even more as we understand this & we’ll be ready for 2012. I dunno, I think I’m just rambling now, antihistamine high or something.

As it sez on my new mug that KC bought for Martin and I…..


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13 Responses to OK SO I LIED

  1. Dana says:

    *quote* When they’d ask how he was doing he’d ALWAYS say AWESOME! *quote*

    I have to say Connie that I’ve had a bit of a hellacious week at work (of course, I just experienced a huge energy (read ‘grief’) dump), and in my experience, that always stirs the energy on the outside as well!

    At any rate, I got to thinking about Andrew and how, no matter what he was going through, he would always say he was awesome! So I decided that he is truly an inspiration as what I’m going through pales compared to what he went through with his chemo, etc.

    And here you are writing about his courage again! *thumbsup!*

    *huge huggles for Connie!*

    It really is ‘All Good!’ :)

  2. Joanie Light says:

    Sending you a big ol’ Texas hug! Andrew is such an inspiration. Had a bit of a rollercoaster week myself including a crying day. Hey, girlfriend, it is nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens and you certainly have good reason to have your mom days. I think I’ll make some sticky notes with Awesome! on it to keep reminding myself that everything is awesome. Keep the vibrations high.

    My weiner dog somehow got my bank debit card and turned it into her favorite chew toy today. Awesome!!

    I do believe there is some major energetic shifting happening as well. Lots of hugs and love coming your way. It’s all good.

  3. Leah Clark says:

    Reading Joanie’s comment, I’m reminded of the Geico commercials where they talk about “Hey, I’m so EXCITED I got rear-ended!” The way I see it, you can lie about how you feel and take longer to process it, or you can say, “This really SUCKS out the ASS!” (sorry, 80’s child moment – I never really understood what that mean, but it seems appropriate here…) and in admitting the suckiness of the situation, process through it in due time. Not that you will ever “get over” losing Andrew in the flesh, but at some point it won’t hurt so much. Especially when he’s talking through you to all those LARGE audiences you’ll be making laugh! I see it, I believe it, and that settles it! It’s going to happen!!!!! Love you guys!!! Give Merlin a big ‘ol smoochie for me. :)

  4. Leah Clark says:

    Hey Joanie – too bad that doesn’t mean she’s going to start pooping money! Sort of a modern-day version of the golden goose?? LMAO!!!!!

  5. Denise says:

    I agree with Leah , especially with Andrew talking through you to “ALL THOSE LARGE AUDIENCES you’ll be making LAUGH” !!!!! Oh by the way sinbad is sitting here with me and he just loves the music especially Imagine , you should see him just dancing to that one

  6. Denise says:

    Made me laugh as I was crying reading the Blog.

    Big(((((((( Hugs))))))))

    miss ya

  7. Karen T. says:

    You were not rambling Connie. It made perfect sense to me.


  8. Karen says:

    Hey Love, I see no rambling here. But hey, I feel that at times rambling can be good for the soul, so no worries. You have every right to go through the layers of emotions as you are sweetheart, it’s natural and it’s healing…

    Lovin’ that your hair is looking “divine” out there in the tundra pretty mama. God I can so relate and most definitely understand ;-).

    Please give my love and a hearty hello to KC.

    Hugs to you and Marts sweetheart…Karen

  9. Pretty Mama says:

    Dare to dream huh? Large audiences? Would be nice! From your mouths to Goddess’ ears! LOL

    I just never know what will set me off. Whether it’s having to tell another one of his friends that he’s passed or a picture sent of him just last Dec with his friends having a great time. Not sure I’m liking this human experience anymore. Not that I’ve been a huge fan of it anyway. One thing I do know is that I have got to feel the feelings and not hold back because they will only build up and be more intense and harder to deal with.

    I am in total awe as to how Andrew handled everything. I hope to be like him when I grow up!

    Thanks for all the love and hugs!

  10. Swati says:

    [quote]Ole did something very cool Sunday, he asked Martin how Andrew was! I really appreciated that! It made me feel like there is no separation. [/quote] I like that too so much! What a wonderful gesture! And it makes sense too. Because he truly is alive (more alive than us if I may say so). And you guys are always in touch with him, so it is the perfect thing to say, “How is Andrew?”.

    Like Dana, I’ve had a crazy week too. Not bad really. But just sooooooo drowned in way too many things to do. I felt I was caught in a whirlwind! So much that I was even away from the forums and emails!! LOLOL!! Now THAT is something!

  11. admin says:

    Andrew truly is more alive than any of us! Martin will be taking you on a journey today in class that Andrew took us on last night. Should be good fun! :-D

  12. Sara-Ovationgirl says:

    Wondering what part of Minne-SNOW-ta you are in. My friend, Deborah, who Martin did a reading for when she visited, lives in Minneapolis. Funny note, all my son’s friends had 2 PCs going last night and they were playing..RUNESCAPE! Never had seen the game before, but I felt so attuned to you and Andrew when I read this in your blog tonight. Thanks, I needed the connection!! :)
    hugs and blessings–
    PS Postive energies being sent out for those allergies of yours…

  13. admin says:

    We are in Minneapolis. I didn’t know Andrew still played Runescape. I thought he was more into WOW. I can’t keep up! :-)

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