Andrew’s 21st birthday is coming up on May 12th, and I am struggling with the grief a little bit again over his birthday. I was under no delusions that the grief was gone permanently, but I’ll take a reprieve from it anytime, and I really did enjoy my last reprieve. I don’t know why his 21st birthday is hitting me harder, but it is. I just miss him being here physically so much. Maybe it’s been the few disappointments I’ve had recently, who knows. Grief; the gift that keeps on giving! *sigh*
Andrew knows I am having a hard time and he is doing his best to help me snap out of it. He sends me signs all of the time as if to say, in his infinite way, “Hey Pretty Mama! How’s it going? I’m still here!” Or he reminds me of something funny to make me laugh. When ever we are going to do an event with him, I can’t even begin to tell you how many 22’s we see. It’s crazy! Every other car’s license plate I notice has a 22 in it. It’s his way of letting us know, “I’m right there with ya!”
The other night I was rocking Kaliana to sleep in her room at our house. I have the gentle music station on for her. I love to feel her close to my heart as I hold her. There is something so sacred and peaceful about rocking your grand baby, the closeness, the bond of a Grammy and her grandchild, it’s so special the way I feel as I am rocking her. It stirs something deep within me as a grandparent. I relax too as I rocked her, I’m listening to the music, and also missing Andrew, what can I say, I like to multi-task. *sigh* I then get a gentle nudge to look over at the TV and what is the name of the song playing? “It’s All Good,” Andrew’s favorite saying. What year did the song come out? 2007. For those that may not remember or know, 2007 is when Andrew was diagnosed and passed. What is the name of the CD? “Gardens Of Hope.” It made me smile because I could feel Andrew’s loving energy surround me and Kaliana, and I knew he was working on cheering me up. I love when he does that.
We had an event this weekend, and that always helps me focus on who Andrew is now when Martin and I get to work with him. It is so much fun and enlightening when we do these mediumship events. It is an honor to bring the audience’s loved ones through with healing messages of love. It is so beautiful as you can see the layers pain melt away. It doesn’t mean it’s all gone, but at least layers have been peeled away. I am humbled to be a part of such an amazing experience.
Martin and I booked a hotel because a 90 min drive home didn’t make sense when we had to be back there the next morning for personal readings. We get back to the hotel and Martin says he’s going down to get a soda. As he said that, I said “soda” with air quotes because I figured he was going to smoke as well. After I did that I hear, “Moooon Flowwwers.” I started laughing. Martin wanted to know what the hell was I laughing so hard at. I told him, between laughing, because it caught me so off guard, that as I said, “soda” I heard, “Moooon Flowwwers” with air quotes. Martin starts laughing hysterically along with me. He’s bent over from laughing so hard.
Why? I hear you ask? Here’s why, and it might just be a family joke that no one else gets, but I’m sharing it anyway. It was Andrew trying to make me laugh and mission accomplished! When he was 11yo, our cousin Chrissy from Ireland was living with us for 6 months. Her and I would obnoxiously use air quotes all of the time. Andrew tried it once and it was so funny because he didn’t understand why or when to use air quotes. When he tried, it was for a commercial for a local business called Moon Flowers. He used the air quotes for “Moon Flowers” and would say it in a sarcastic way, so it was now, “Mooon Flowwwers.” He thought he was being so clever on how to use air quotes. Chrissy and I lost it! We laughed so hard when he did that. We would use his “Moooon Flowwwers” to make fun of Andrew too if he did something silly. Kinda like Dr. Evil with his “tracker beams.” Oh yeah, we would also use that one sarcastically too!
It has been years since I had thought about that, so when I heard Andrew in my head that night saying “Moooon Flowwwers” like he use to do, after my “soda” comment, I LMAO! It felt really good to have all 3 of us laughing together again, like we use to do over silly stuff. It was like old times, just in a new way.
I just love that boy of mine! My Muck is always there to remind me…
“It’s Alllll Goooood!” =D