I talk about still standing after 3 1/2 months in the hospital. I also need to talk about still standing after being suddenly thrown out into the outside world!
I don’t think people realize just how much Martin and I are dealing with! How could you really? Unless you have gone through something this huge, how could you know? SO I will tell you. ;-)
Not only are Martin and I dealing with the physical loss of our son, which is HUGE enough just with that, I wish that’s all we had to deal with! But we are still coming down from all the stress of being in the hospital for nearly 4 months. That was one long running adrenalin trip. There was always something to deal with everyday while in the hospital. Watching your son going through things no child should ever have to go through. Feeling helpless that you can’t do it for him or take any of it away from him. It is horrible to feel so helpless as a parent that you can’t stop a disease or the treatment from ravaging your beautiful son. Nearly 4 months in the hospital takes it’s toll so we have that to deal with too.
NOW we have to deal with everything that was hold on the out side world! I won’t go into the countless things we are dealing with just with the house alone. Thank goodness we had some help with the minor stuff.
It’s not like we got to slowly acclimate ourselves or even had notice that we would be entering the outside world again. We were hurled straight back into it so fast it was startling! Starting with FUNeral service arrangements as soon as we left the hospital, obituaries, out of town guests, trying to get our heads around the fact Andrew was no longer here. We were one of the lucky ones! We knew someone in “the biz” so she walked Martin through` the arrangements.
Then realizing we had no income coming in on top of that! We now had to worry about getting an income coming in ASAP! Andrew was gone so the benefits that were planned fell to the way side. SO while trying to deal with our grief, the upcoming holidays, let’s not forget we had those too to deal with, a trip to Ireland to get the family thing over with right away, we had to start figuring out how to get money coming in! Thank goodness for the generosity of so many because they took care of us while we were in the hospital. We were taking care of through Dec. with Ireland really pulling through for us too! *Phew*
But can you even imagine having to deal with all of this!?? Like the ascension wasn’t enough??? This has been a nightmare on so many levels!
This is when I realized that there needs to be a Make A Wish of sorts for parents. That is my goal! I want to start a foundation to help parents after they have had such a stressful and traumatic time like this, to be able to get away and decompress. Martin and I have had no real rest since July 11th. I can see how this could destroy relationships. We are one of the lucky ones that we became even closer. But we are still stressed!
I just know Martin and I could use a serious vacation of just relaxing and not having to worry about anything and be pampered for a change.
I would love to have a retreat where parents can come and be pampered and only be concerned with themselves and be able to reconnect with one another. I would like to have counselors there to help them acclimate back into their lives. Help them deal with grief if need be. Something like the Miravol Spa Oprah talks about. A place that will soothe their bodies and feed their souls!
Like I said before, the parents are the forgotten heroes in all of this. They need to be pampered and taken care of too! It takes such a toll on your emotions, your spirit, & your body. It’s a wonder any parents survive!
So hopefully one day I will be able to start something like that. It’s on top of my goal list. Kids that go through something this stressful deserve to have rested & rejuvenated parents in their lives!
IT’S ALL GOOD!