Lights Of Avalon

We have our musician friend Tim here, he’s been here for the past few weeks. He’s been helping us get things done around the house that needs two guy’s hands to get it done. Andrew would have been a HUGE help with all this stuff, but Noooooo! He had to move on to his “Higher Purpose.” *said in my best mocking, sarcastic voice* Hey! Grief is a process! I’m still working on it.

Martin and I just haven’t had the energy to deal with all the things that need to get done around here. It wasn’t work for one skinny guy’s and one middle aged gal’s hands to do anyway. For instance, cutting down a tree in the back yard that has been dropping leaves in our pool, and pushing on our screens. Fixing our dryer duct so the rats can’t meander in willy nilly and chew up my shit, little bastards! Where’s a snake when ya need one! See? Missing Andrew again! He always had a few snakes as pets. Fixing the leak under our kitchen sink, which only needed the nozzle tightened mind you, but things like that. Martin and I barely have one functioning brain between us! So we definitely needed some outside help to get things done.

Tim has been staying in Andrew’s room. Martin and Tim use Andrew’s bathroom, and I pretty much stay out of there now and use the bathroom in our bedroom instead. The toilet in our room doesn’t work right either. Da boyz need to take a look at that as well. With all of this going on, and me not going into Andrew’s bathroom much, the faerie light hasn’t been coming on. Andrew did turn it on when our friend Morrighan was staying here with us, but not since then, which was towards the end of October.

I have been missing my faerie light being turned on, but I have been surviving, barely, but surviving. *pause for drama queen moment…ennnnd scene, moving on* Andrew’s been doing other things to let me know he’s around, mostly through songs, like sending me the song “Good Life” by One Republic on my way to work where I die a little everyday. Oh yes, another drama queen moment. But yesterday he did something new. The other night I go to turn on the light over my past life portrait of me in Avalon with my white wolf, that hangs in a little cove in the living room by the front door. An artist friend, David White did this kick ass portrait for me that was on the cover of the local literary paper, The Pepper Tree. Yeah, it really rocks!

I was disappointed when I went to turn the light on and nothing happened. I like to see my past life all illuminated up when I had me some real power! There was no unlimited soup or salad in Avalon lemme tell ya, except for me perhaps. Anyway, I figured the bulb must have burned out already. Didn’t think anymore about it, ok, I lied. I did whine to Martin about it at first, then I let it go, until this morning when I noticed the light was on over my portrait! Herrre’s me wha? *an Irish expression when shocked at something*

I thought that was odd and wondered if it had been on all night. I turned it off and really didn’t think about it anymore, figuring it was a fluke. You’d think I’d learn by now that I don’t have flukes, umm yeah, no! Then tonight, as it starts to get dark, I notice the light is on AGAIN over my portrait! Knowing the answer, I asked Tim if he had turned it on. Of course he did not. I instant messaged Martin on FaceBook since he was on a reading and can multitask doing that, he can’t walk and chew gum mind you, but he can do a reading and instant message, go figure. I asked him if he turned the light on. He replied, “No. I thought the bulb was burned out.” I answered, “Me too but it’s on now!” He just LOL’d me back. Seriously Psychic Boy? That’s all you got for me? LOL? That’s when it dawned on me, DUH! It’s Muck! I then could feel Muck’s energy around me, and he let me know that he’s turning that light on for me instead of his faerie light, because he knows I miss seeing a light that he turns on.

How sweet is that? A. VERY! He really does work hard on letting me know that he is still right by my side, loving his Pretty Mama. He’s a good son always reminding me…


Well to back it up that it is indeed Andrew turning on the lights, Andrew turned on the faerie light today when Martin turned on the Avalon portrait light this evening. When Tim told me that the faerie light was on, I heard Andrew laughing and say, “well Daddy turned on the Avalon light so I had to do something so you’d know it was me!” He is such a good son!

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6 Responses to Lights Of Avalon

  1. Pureheart says:

    lol on the skinny reference, and the walk and chew gum reference. That’s 2, going for the comedy. Great post though. Love you.

  2. Nina says:

    Sign, sign, everywhere a sign. Talk about signs…Try this one! Last week when I was at work, working on the Santa House for our upcoming Holiday Magic Event for some reason I was re-caping silently in my mind some of the entries I’ve read in your book as I painted and decorated this Winter Wonderland that hundreds of kids will walk thru and visit this Sunday. I was thinking about your relationship with Muck (*note: I asked & learned from Martin what ‘Muck’ means, sorry no Irish blood here, I’m Sicilian) Anyway moving on, as I’m thinking and re-caping the entries in the book the song “Who Loves You” by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons comes on the radio! On the inside I’m like OK – OK I get it Andrew, I really “GET IT”. I then start to recall a previous blog you had written with the same song playing while you were at work. Connie, the energy flowed thru my whole body, mind and Soul. I felt peace and confront words can’t describe. It’s real, It’s really real.

  3. admin says:

    I actually have a blog post called “sign sign everywhere a sign” LOL I understand exactly what you are saying Nina. Andrew has a way of letting people know, who support his parents, that he is there and available for them too. It is very cool for me to hear how people can feel his energy so strongly & have interaction with him. Some people say he talks to them and he is not, I can always tell who Andrew is really “appearing” to. You describe his energy has others have, with so much peace & love that goes beyond words. He definitely leaves you speechless! .

  4. admin says:

    That’s our motto right? ALWAYS go for the comedy! Knew you’d understand! Love you!!!! ;-)

  5. Nina says:

    #1. I had no clue about your other blog, so help me!
    #2. When this happened to me last week I wanted to share it with you but something inside me, a feeling I had said I needed to wait for the right moment. “Lights Of Avalon” Blog said it was now time to share with you.


  6. admin says:

    I am talking about a post in this blog, this one goes back to July 2007. I have blogged here since Andrew was diagnosed. It was here that our family & friends were able to follow Andrew’s progress. I have continued to blog about our journey w/Andrew here since he left as well as the grief process.

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