That probably describes how I feel the best. I go between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I soooo feel his pain! It’s a constant battle for me! My human side trying to make sense of everything, wanting my son back so bad and my Higher Self knowing all is in Divine Order. As Time goes on my Higher Self takes over more. That’s the part of me that is connected to Andrew and that’s where I want to be!

My human side questions how can a child who knew all that he did about the Law Of Attraction, that your thoughts create your reality, loved life more than anyone I know, was so strong physically, mentally and spiritually could be diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia!? It doesn’t make sense! I mean this kid is positive ALL of the time, stayed focused on well being, KNEW he would be home for Christmas with us, then he leaves?? How is this possible??

All the healing energy that was done did miraculous things, like have conditions just disappear. Dr’s couldn’t explain it but we could. We felt like there was nothing we couldn’t do! Andrew is so powerful and Martin & Jeremy with their powerful ancient healing energy plus all the prayers. We did EVERYTHING right! SO why didn’t it work??

The movie The Secret teaches that you stay focused on health and well being and it will be so. With all of us holding Andrew’s truth of well being and wasn’t enough! How do they explain that??

That’s when my Higher Self comes into play. What The Secret does not take into account is that there are other Universal Laws. Like the Law of Alchemy, and Soul Contracts. So when Ester Hicks says in The Secret that only you manifest what you have in your life, it’s all you.  She is right. It is you that writes your soul contract & if you put in your contract to leave though a rare disease then guess what?? That’s what is going to happen no matter how positive you are.

Am I still a believer in LOA? Absolutely! DO I believe in the power of healing energy?? Of prayer? Hell yes! Too many healings happened with Andrew to not believe in it. Many thought Andrew wouldn’t make it out of the PICU the first time! What all the healing energy did was 1. give us more time together and 2. gave us quality time! Andrew felt great more than bad 3. it taught us so much & made us more powerful as healers!!

SO why did all of this happen?? Because it was destined. Andrew was leaving this planet early no matter what. Like I had said before, Martin knew that when he was born that we wouldn’t have Andrew for a long time. Andrew chose aml leukemia to take care of a past life karma. Not for us to fully understand. He was needed on the Other Side where he could do more. This planet held him back. I remember Andrew telling me how frustrated he was that he couldn’t levitate himself or objects because he knew he could. Now he can. He can do more working with us from where he is now than when he was here. As hard as that is for me, I know that is the truth! I don’t want it to be but it is.

So why bother then if it’s destined. Well you don’t know if it is destined or not till the end of the journey. And it’s the journey that’s the important part! As hard as this journey has been, it has also been sacred, intimate, holy and fantastic! I am honored to have been able to share this with Andrew and Martin! I wouldn’t have wanted to go on this journey with anyone else!

Thank you Muck for trusting me to be your mom! I am deeply honored! I love you my sweet!


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8 Responses to JEKYLL AND HYDE

  1. Swati says:

    Dear Connie,

    All I can say is, there is no way on earth that I can do what you are doing. No way. Hats off to you…


  2. admin says:

    You know what Swati?? Neither did I!! *takes hat anyway* :-D

  3. Anna Taylor says:

    I agree with Swati! :) I give you all my hats! LOL



  4. admin says:

    *runs and takes ALL hats b 4 she changes her mind!* LOL

  5. Leonore Schuetz says:

    Sniffling. ((((!!!!))))), Connie!

    “Pure gold.” You have been forged, seared, transmuted to the purest form. No more will you have to give. All is the stream of reward now.” Something about a river…

    Blessings, blessings, comfort and joy and sleep of pure bliss for Pretty Momma. Lots of laughter, non alcoholic ale and punch to toast for you.

    Doors are opening wide. All is success now.

    Connie, hope I delivered these messages inside my head as well as possible. There were lots of physical sensations with it that felt positive.

  6. admin says:

    Thank you Leo! Your words touch my heart! (((HUGS)))

  7. Leonore Schuetz says:

    ((((!!!))) Back!

  8. Sue says:


    I haven’t read all of it yet, but I found this book at the bookstore which might help with this:

    Maja D’Aoust and Adam Parfrey, “The Secret Source: The Law of Attraction is One of Seven Hermetic Laws: Here are the Other Six”

    It goes a lot into the Kybalion and New Thought, etc. (Kybalion is what Doreen based “Divine Magic” on.) And so far it makes sense to me as an explanation why you can’t just use LOA by itself to get whatever you want on an ego level.

    Wishing you and Martin some answers and some peace….

    Love & light

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