Well, that is what I’m working on saying no matter what, like Andrew did. I am still unable to answer “I’m Awesome!” when asked how I’m doing, unlike Andrew, who answered that ALL of the time! My answer is “good.” Andrew only gave that answer a day or 2 before he crossed. That’s how I knew he was really not feeling well at all when he said he was only doing “good.”
I’m hoping I can be like Andrew when I grow up! Every birthday, every Christmas, every Halloween, he said it was the best one EVER! When I said to him that he said that every year, he said, “Well, I mean it every year Mommy!” And in deed he did!! :-)
Andrew set such a shining example of how to live life to the fullest, even under horrendous conditions. Even having that shining example to follow, it’s still hard for me to say “I’m awesome!” Martin sez it, but I’m not there yet. In my defense, Andrew had a great childhood and didn’t have anything to heal from that, so he’s always been awesome, your honor. :-) Does it count that I am working on it? I hope so. This has been such a long road of healing and will spend the rest of my life coming out of it, it feels like.
I didn’t have the time to even get over the trauma of Elatia’s illness before I was hit with Andrew’s! That ain’t right! I mean, seriously! What kind of schmuck was I in a past life…or even this life?! :-0 At least with Elatia we were able to find out why she got the ovarian tumor and worked on healing those issues. With Andrew, none of the metaphysical reasoning regarding leukemia did not apply. “Blocking the flow of life?” Not even remotely close to describing our Muck’s state of mind! He was the happiest, healthiest, loving life person I knew here!
Right when my life was calming down and I was starting to get over the stress of nearly losing Elatia, I got hit with Andrew’s diagnosis, then crossing. SO yea, it’s gonna take me a bit of time before I feel safe enough to say “I’m Awesome!” BUT I can say….
IT’S ALL GOOD!