I think Andrew and John Edward are in cahoots! Honest to Goddess they must be! Even though it was an episode of Cross Country I had already seen not that long ago, it was good to see it again. It was a good reminder on several different points.
The first point being that our journey with Andrew through leukemia, there was something much bigger at work. Much bigger than any of us. There was a mother on the show that lost her 15yo son David, to leukemia. He was diagnosed at 11yo. She said after he left she wondered if she made any wrong decisions about his treatment. You can’t help but wonder when you have to make life and death decisions EVERYDAY! She said that there was always some big decision to make about her son’s treatment and you wonder if you made the right ones after they cross, the “what if’s.” Martin and I discussed it last night. He said he had wondered if he made the right decisions in the hospital. Martin said there were so many decisions to make every day Andrew was in the hospital. That is why I had to take the night shift. It was way to overwhelming for me to handle during the day. Andrew took Martin on a few journeys after he crossed to help Martin process everything and to show him that all was in Divine order.
Then the woman went on to say that when you look at the big picture, you just know that there is something bigger at play here. Things go the way they need to go, the way they are suppose to go, especially when you are present in the situation and hold up your end of the deal and did everything within your power. It was good to hear that validation.
At the same time she also said that they did not celebrate the holidays after David crossed. It was 18 months at the time of taping. Another family that lost their 20yo son due to a motorcycle accident, hadn’t celebrated the holidays either since their son left. For me, not celebrating the holidays is like acknowledging Andrew isn’t here anymore. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I want to continue the traditions we started with Andrew because it makes me feel closer to him. I am NOT willing to accept that he not here. His physical presence may not be, but the very essence of who he is, is here. Yes, it’s hard letting go of the physical part of him, it was so very strong in our lives. It’s forcing to me look beyond the 3rd dimension even more now and opening up to what is really real and this dimension isn’t the real deal, this is just temporary. To also see the endless possibilities. It’s me that has to bump it up a few notches vibrational wise to communicate more with Andrew. Do I have the joy I use to have for the holidays? No, not yet. But I probably will when I’m out there doing what I love and not just sitting around the house missing Andrew.
The father of the 20yo talked about the loneliness even though he has a close relationship with his wife. I understood that too, way more than I would like to admit. It’s the loneliness that is hard to deal with. Again, it was nice to hear from someone I don’t even know, that they feel the same way as I do.
John talked about the 2nd year of not having their son’s there was the hardest. I know I have mentioned this before. But I think it needs to be said again and stressed to anyone who may know someone going through this. John gave a list of things to help the grieving parents and for those who care about them, to understand what they can do or how to be with the grieving parents. I will list them here. I think people tend to forget just how deep the sorrow runs in parents who lose a child, especially if they have never had children themselves. While I appear that I am doing ok, and I guess I am, I am still very raw, still dazed, still on my knees trying to find my way back up again. Here is what John said people like me, going through the 2nd year of loss need….
1. Be patient with them,
2. Be EXTRA kind to them
3. Communicate more with them. This is a weird one because as grieving parents we don’t call anyone but will talk to anyone who calls. (unless it’s a bill collector ;-) ) I have found this to be true amongst other grieving parents as well.
4. Be there for them because more than likely it’s not happening
I agree with John. I was glad he was able to put into words what grieving parents need at this time in the process. Good job John! Well said.
Now onto a side story. Wes had an interesting thing happen to him on his walk to his grandmother’s house yesterday to drop off something. He saw a beer can in a yard and thought, “I’ll get it on my way back.” Then he distinctly heard, “No you won’t! Pick it up now.” He realized it was Andrew talking to him. SO he picked up the beer can and walked into his grandmother’s house where his older sister, who lives there with her 3 kids, thought he had been drinking. LMAO! I think Andrew just wanted to see Wes explain that away! LOL :-D It was probably easier to say he was drinking than to explain that Andrew told him to pick it up! LMAO Wes is home now, dunno when he’ll be back. :-(
IT’S ALL GOOD!