As hard as Christmas Day has been with not getting any signs from Andrew all day, like no fairy light on, no dragon moving around his room, no nothing, but we did have a great night Christmas Eve night. Denise came by, another friend we hadn’t seen in over 4 yrs that we met through our store came over with his girlfriend, Wesley, Elatia and some friends from her work were here. We played a game, we ate, we drank, we B.S.’d and laughed till the wee hours of the morning, then Martin sang a few songs for us till about 4:00am. Yup! You read that right, 4a.m. It was really a lot of fun and great to laugh so much. I wasn’t sure if anyone was really going to show up, but the perfect people did.

Elatia and Wesley were here for Christmas dinner. We are all tired from last night’s festivities and serious lack of sleep, so we just hung around the house chillin. I may leave the tree up until I can put presents under it…if it doesn’t take all year long.
So tonight Martin and I were sitting here watching “Gordon Ramsey Kitchen Nightmares” as I was whining about not getting any signs all day from Andrew today, then I got a thought in my head, it was Andrew, “I’m busy working on the New Year… the bigger picture Pretty Mama.” Yea, I know, I am high maintenance. I just felt that as I was typing about my whining. ;-) He knows he can still kid with me. That’s just how we roll.

Then a few moments later something odd happens. The light on my past life Goddess of Avalon portrait starts flickering. It’s NEVER done that before. I say something to Martin about seeing it but he’s too into Gordon Ramsey and tuning out my whining to hear me. The light keeps flickering and I comment on how maybe the light is getting ready to burn out. I was waiting to see if my portrait went dark, hoping it wouldn’t because then it would mean it was just the bulb. The light flickers a few more times then it stops and the light is on like nothing has happened. FINALLY I get Martin’s attention and he missed the whole flickering thing. I tell him what had happened and how I couldn’t believe he missed it, it was hard to miss! Martin says to me “It’s Muck, tune in, what is he telling you?”

I got that Andrew was letting me to know that he in deed was around us, but is really busy setting things up for us for 2009. I got the feeling that the days of us sitting around waiting, are going to be over soon. That all our hard work is ready to pay off, the seeds that we have planted are ready to sprout  :-D :-D Well, that would explain the 222’s I’ve been seeing a lot of lately.

So while I may not have gotten the Christmas day I really wanted, and never will again really, I did get a day I can be thankful for and that in itself is a gift! It’s just not a gift that I can unwrap or can put under the tree, but a gift non the less. ;-) Let’s face it, gratefulness is the best gift I can have in dealing with grief during the holidays. Once I can be grateful in the most trying/depressing of times, moving through grief becomes easier. It means I am moving forward. And that my friends is progress! And a Christmas miracle in my book! God bless us one and all. (had to end this with a cheesy xmas saying)

Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Jeremy says:

    Amen Sister… 2009 IS the ticket we have been waiting for. By this time next year you certainly won’t have another empty tree ever again. 2009 is going to be Phenom!

  2. Dana says:

    I am SO looking forward to 2009! It just has an air of excitement around it!

    I had to work today for all it’s worth. I promised myself that next year, I’ll either be in a different dept and NOT working in xmas, or outta the muggle job all together! I love the money, now I have to manifest doing what I love to make the money!

    Happy Holidays tho! I still have lots to be grateful for!

    Huge huggles Connie!

  3. Leah Clark says:

    Phenomenon *doot doo, doo doo doo* Phenonmenon *doot doo, doot doo* Phenomenon *doot doo, doo doo doo – doo doo doo- doo doo doo – doo doo doo, doo doo doot doo doo doo…* I agree with Jeremy, here’s to an AWESOME 2009!

  4. Swati says:

    Awesome 2009!!! :-D :-D :-D

    Btw, I will be gone for a few days. Am going to Arizona tomorrow. Will be back on the 30th. So I will be back stalking you after that. I wish we could all get together for New Year. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

  5. Karen T. says:

    Hey Connie, remember when I told you about the static from the music station at exactly 11:11 one night while I was lovin’ on Merlin? Never got static before or after that in the whole month of visits! Your home has such a beautiful energy… bask in it while I send more wishes for the mama gene to loosen up. Love and hugs and smiles for the things you received that made you feel grateful! I thought of you on and off the whole week. I need to come scoop you up for lunch or coffee soon. Keep your attitude of gratitude. I know when I do things just go along a lot smoother. I wish you smoother!!

  6. Dana says:

    Ehem! I don’t have to wait until the 30th to stalk you Connie! :-P

    *taps fingers inpatiently!*

  7. admin says:

    Just a quick note before I head to WW, Wes has had the computer (probably will for a while longer) and I figured everyone else had a life during xmas and wouldn’t miss me for a few days while I wallow in self pity and a little resentment. :-)

  8. Dana says:

    Nah…I’m pretty much without a life here! Now get posting!

    And btw…how did it go at WW? I’ve got to do something here myself. The holiday goodies have made an impact on my form! *eek!*

  9. Leah Clark says:

    Now come on, Connie – we ALWAYS miss you while you wallow in self-pity and resentment! LOLOL!!!!

  10. admin says:

    I’m down 8/10ths of the pound I gained last week, Elatia dropped another 2.8 lbs!!! She’s down to 144! BITCH! She’s not even trying to lose anymore weight, she has 2 jobs now and that’s doing it.

    I didn’t want to spread my whiny, resentment, holiday cheer here Leah. Hmmm maybe I should spread it on the forums instead. :-D I do have a New Year post to put up for Tuesday sometime, how’s that?

  11. Dana says:

    Connie – get posting! *shakes fist*

    Gods! My daughter and I went to Lane Bryant yesterday (they have the BEST BRAS EVER for large busted gals) The bras were ‘buy 2 – get 2 free), so I got 2 and my daughter got 2. Then she found some cute black pants on the clearance rack. I also got a pair of black pants and cute top on clearance. The problem is, the pants fit just fine everywhere EXCEPT my tummy! This will be the ‘lay down on the bed to zip them up!’ kind of pair. Jaybez! I need to drop the weight! And I was beginning to lose it last fall! *shakes fist at Christmas goodies!* I told me mums that this year, there will be no sweets in the house other than my Katrina’s pumpkin roll! Only savory goodies allowed!

    And today…I’m going to the store to get ‘Weight Watchers’ meals. I can no longer eat the fattening food at work either *sigh*

  12. admin says:

    Elatia has it down to a science! She has her wee lunch tote she takes to work with her. She works at a steak house AND a pub on the water w/tons of fried food so she makes sure she has her food to not get side tracked. I am really proud of her. I’m hoping to hit that 20 lb mark on next weigh in. I’ll only have like 12 lbs to go then. WW sez more like 10 lbs more but they ain’t the boss of me! I haven’t weighed 146 since my 20’s! 155 is a good weight for me.

    Wes has been on the lap top non stop. He’s finally passed out for a while. :-) I have been writing down stories to blog about tho so hang in there!

Leave a Reply