If you’re Catholic you’ll know the rest of that one. If not, consider yourself lucky! Didn’t mean to give ya the shakes if you’re a recovering Catholic either. My bad.

I have a confession to make, while I am doing much better, I have to admit that I still have my weepy moments. While I was cleaning today I talked to Andrew and wept a little bit. We would clean together. He liked doing that kind of thing with me and by himself. He had a touch of the OCD, just enough to make it useful to me and his friends. I was probably feeling that way because I was feeling him. Can’t imagine him missing a good cleaning session!

I cleaned his bathroom that still has his stuff in it. His tub was pretty dirty from the window being open & lack of use *wipes tear* The Listerine is his, he loved that stuff. He figured if he used it he wouldn’t have to floss. He didn’t like flossing at all. It’s comforting yet hard seeing his stuff knowing he won’t be using it anymore but I cant get rid of it either. Some things I have given to his friends that I know they can use. But I’m keeping the rest.

I wonder where we’d be now in his healing process if he had of stayed. I think about how I would still be taking care of him, helping him. I miss being able to do that. It is still surreal to me. There’s a part of me still expecting him to come home. But then I remember that this place isn’t the real deal, where he is, is the real deal. I look forward to going there one day. I’m actually excited about it. I want to get it right here so when I go back I don’t have a whole lot of BS to go through. That’s why I’m working so hard on keeping it together and not losing my marbles. I want to just kick back with Muck at the ole castle when I get there! I hope to hell I don’t have to grow old before I can get there!! And if I do, I better be having a freaking great time here dammit! Oh and look good and have all my marbles that I worked so hard on keeping!

As you can imagine the wind has been knocked outta me. Kinda feel like I’m down for the count. The consolation is that everyday I wake up I’m one day closer to being with Andrew! WOo HoO!

Switching gears now. You’d think being a comedian I’d come up with some clever segway to change topics but I got nothing, so switching gears will have to do. We’re doin our show again Friday at 9p.m. EST We will talk about current topics n stuff with the Muck.

I’ve decided on our first show I must’ve been channeling Colin Farrell. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! How good am I to be able to channel someone ALIVE! :-D *pats self on back*

Well I didn’t know what I was going to write about, didn’t have anything exciting to share, so at least gave ya something to go with your morning java.


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  1. Karen T. says:

    Actually this is going with my nightly bite of dark chocolate truffles…LOL. Don’t you be forgetting about us fellow night owls!!

    Hugs for ya, Connie!

  2. Karen T. says:

    Just wanted to say that my time of posting says 8:40am and I DO NOT do mornings…LOL. It was 1:40am and that I DO.

  3. Dana says:

    *quote* I’ve decided on our first show I must’ve been channeling Colin Farrell. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! How good am I to be able to channel someone ALIVE! :-D *pats self on back* *quote*

    LOL! and an excellent job you did too Connie!

  4. Jeannette says:

    Yes Connie, your story and my cup of java go hand in hand.. Sometimes I
    even cheat and take a peek before I sign off… Thanks for sharing your
    feelings. Dont worry about not having something exciting to write about,
    just talking about Andrew and your journey with him is more than interesting and rewarding.
    Excellent indeed!!! :-) !!!!

  5. Denise says:

    Yes I agree with Jeannette , just writing about Andrew and whats going on with you all is rewarding and Healing ” IT’S ALL GOOD ” for us all !!!!!!


    PS: Tell Mart , thanks for the music ,got Monty this mornin needed that !!!!!!!

  6. Leah Clark says:

    Connie – big hugs from me to you. :) I’m so glad you’re sharing these pieces of the journey with us – we don’t expect you to be perfect AT ALL, just to reiterate what has been said before. I know you want to get it right, to somehow be above all this weepy crap – I’ve been there, I relate, I get it. Just want you to know that we are here with you every step of the way, whether you’re laughing or crying or abusing us (that’s our favorite, by the way. LOL!!!)

  7. Swati says:

    [quote]The consolation is that everyday I wake up I’m one day closer to being with Andrew![/quote]

    What a WONDERFUL way to look at it!!! I will remember this one. Always. Especially when I miss someone.

    I am glad you didn’t throw away his things. Why should you?

    And as always, I am glad you cried. You WILL be above all the crying and weeping. But its too soon right now.


  8. admin says:

    I didn’t think I had anything to write about last night! Nothing! Nada! But I knew I had to write something. SO I just sat down and started babbling until it took form & started to make sense. Martin was working most of the day & I didn’t have anything much go on with Muck other than what I already had written about that morning.

    Thanks for lovingly pushing me and staying tuned. It really helps to know I have people that look forward to coming here in the morning and wee hours of the morning and reading what I wrote. You give me something to do and it helps to keep me off the streets at night! LOL


  9. Swati says:

    Connnnnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Help!! LOL!! I hate being locked out of the forum! I sent you email about this, did you get it? This is what is happening with me:

    1. I went in happily to go check the forum an hour or so back, and saw that I was logged out. I never logout. So I tried logging in, and it kept returning me back to the login page…and not logging me in.

    2. So I sent in my lost password request. It said it has changed my password and the new password has been emailed to me. It still hasn’t reached me. So I tried 2 more times. Nope, still not here.

    3. So I create a new ID: SwatiTwo. But this SwatiTwo person is not a mediumship student, so she cannot get into the mediumship forums! Waaaahhhh!!!!

    Somebody help me because now I am getting more withdrawal symptoms than Leah got!

  10. Leah Clark says:

    Nuh-uh! Impossible! I am the Queen of Withdrawal Symptoms! You can’t have more than me!!! LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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