Since Martin and I have been working on booking our show AND have had some success with getting shows, I’ve noticed that I am feeling better. I’ve been able to stay more focused on who Andrew is now and the exciting work we have a head of us with him. It could be a fluke but I don’t care! Yes, I still have my moments where I miss him so very much and shed a few tears. But then I remember what we are doing with him and I am able to move out of despair quickly and into what an honor it is to be working with an Avatar. Our very own Avatar!

I know I will spend the rest of my life longing to hug my son again and see him walking around the house. But there’s nothing saying I can’t have the next best thing and experience him on his energetic level. It will still take me some time but I know I will get there one day.

I am still mentally and emotionally drained and scattered.  That comes with the grief territory, time will take care of that I suppose. I haven’t slept as well as I use to since Andrew crossed, what is 8 hrs of sleep like? Could be the grief or could be the onset of menopause, not sure, insomnia comes with both. Between grief and menopause symptoms, it’s any wonder I’m even still standing. I’ve seen women on Oprah beside themselves with just menopausal symptoms. Lucky me! I get that AND grief AND financial crap to deal with ALL at once! I hit the trauma mother load! How lucky am I???

So even with all that stuff I’m still dealing with, I’m doing better. Not having deep despair to deal with as often is a HUGE relief. I was right, getting out there and having something to look forward to really is helping me cope. Hmmmm it would appear that there is finally a light at the end of this very, long, dark tunnel that I have felt like I have been in for what seems like an eternity.


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5 Responses to FLUKE OR NOT I’LL TAKE IT!

  1. Karen T. says:

    I am wishing you a faster pace towards that light!!! From a fellow insomniac. :)

  2. Carla says:

    Connie, No Flukes. No chance meetings. You have inspired and sparked me as well as I am sure hundreds of others. Sending you a rainbow of lights, colors, and love.


  3. Leah Clark says:

    I can imagine that having something good to focus on makes it a lot easier! Woo-hooo!!!! All them gig dates! “happy dance”

  4. admin says:

    The faster the better I say Karen! No matter where that light is coming from! ;-) You know I don’t care! Either way it’s bringing relief and I’m going to it! :-)

    Thank you Carla. Also thank you for having us in your place and being a great support of our work!

    It makes a HUGE difference Leah having something to focus on other than Andrew’s empty room, meaning him not in it, his stuff stays! We ain’t done booking them gigs yet either! We have a cuz working on N. Ireland for us now! Doing even a bigger happy dance! Hoping to be in Ireland for the holidays this year!

  5. Swati says:

    No flukes there Connie. None at all. You were always right about this…when you have great things to look forward to, life becomes easier, even with grief and menopause.

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