with my life? Perhaps. Well, for the moment anyway. When I was on the treadmill today wondering why I had sooooo much time on my hands to think and miss Andrew, I “heard” Andrew, per say, I know it was him putting the thoughts in my head. It was fast & furious and then he backed it up with his calling card of 22’s on my treadmill on the time and mileage.

It’s pretty cool how we communicate on the Other Side. I think people get tripped up because they expect it to be like we communicate here, but it is so much more sophisticated than that when we are in our natural form of pure energy on the Other Side.

Anyway Andrew “told” me that this time was needed right now to be in total self care. To have the time to get the weight off that I want, I’m almost there. Taking the time to master meditating, astral traveling and connecting with him the way I want to. Time to adjust to our new relationship and new way of communicating with each other while I am still here. I need this time to heal and become stronger than ever before. I need this time to connect with my Higher Self more. So instead of resenting all this time I have in the house mostly on my own, missing what I had, I am finally ready to make the most of it & do what I am suppose to. Well, that’s the plan anyway. It always looks good on paper. ;-)

The issue for me has been that I just haven’t had the energy to do most of those things. My mind has been such mush trying to wrap my head around these past 2 1/2 yrs. Trying to make peace with it all. It’s been a lot to deal with. I’d rather be doing our concerts instead, to cope.

Andrew’s telling me now as I’m typing this, that he compromised with me by letting me do some concerts to help me cope, a taste of what all this is really about, but now it’s time to get serious about the rest of my healing and that comes in the form of meditating to bump up my vibration where it needs to be. Muck and Martin have been protecting me long enough and now I have to start raising my vibration so I can start bringing in the right things for me, and NOT what I don’t want. No one can raise my vibration for me, I have to do it for myself. I have got to STOP resenting everything that has happened to me, and allow what is suppose to happen, happen. See the blessings that are rising from all this. DUH! There’s a difference between KNOWING it and DOING it! I’m gonna start DOING it now. I’ve only been DOING, half ass, which is better than most in this position. Hell! I’ve been doing better than a lot of ppl who don’t even have this much trauma! BUT that’s not good enough for me, and what the 3 of us have to do. Just KNOWING it, ain’t cutting it anymore, not if I want change…and I do. Knowing is the easy part, DOING? Not so much! It’s a whole other ball game. Martin and Muck have been protecting me, i.e. giving me a safe place to be the grieving mother, until I could raise my vibration myself. It’s time. There’s just no easy way out. I have to do the work to get what I want. But I also knew I would feel when the time was right. I would FEEL like doing all those things and not dread it like I have been. Is the grief over, NOT by a long shot! But there is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small it may seem now, at least I can see it! It’s a step in the right direction.

So off I go to meditate and work on being w/that boy of mine in our new way. The way I am meant to be. I have to go and meet him, I know he’s meeting me more than 1/2 way, time to step up. *goes to get big girl panties on again* THX Leah and Karen!


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8 Responses to COMING TO TERMS…

  1. Swati says:

    You go Connie!!!!! Maybe you should up a picture of you on the prfound treadmill :-)))).

  2. Jeremy says:

    *looks around*… Hmmm.. I thought I was at the Healive blog. But it look so much different now. Well whatever has caused this change and shift its FREAKING AWESOME… You Go Girl!

    Finally Connies Back!

  3. admin says:

    How long has it been since you’ve been here J? Looks the same to me.

    I think the change is coming from the energy work Andrew has been doing on me every night on the crystal bed. He’s clearing out the etheric pipes. While I don’t remember it, I notice the difference in how I feel in the morning. While on the treadmill, my mind wonders and I guess Andrew took advantage and snuck in there with some messages. Now my treadmill will be known as the “treadmill of wisdom” LOL Granted, it’s right next to the Beach Club benefit poster w/Andrew on it w/that big grin of his.

    Keeping my fingers crossed that this feeling stays. I think that is why Andrew is intensely working so diligently on me all month long. BUT I have to hold up my end of this too. I can do this!

  4. Karen T. says:

    Yes you can!! Go Pretty Mama, go!!

    I am smiling big for your progress and happy dancing with the thought of what’s yet to come for you. Yay!!!

  5. Swati says:

    YES you can!!! YES YOU CAN!!! :-))))))))))))))))) Thank you Andrew for doing this!!!

  6. admin says:

    Even Obama is behind me! “YES WE CAN!” Now off to do my morning meditation! Did it twice yesterday. Practice, Practice, practice! I have the time!

  7. Leah Clark says:

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOW Connie!!! Good for you, girlfriend!!! I’m SO glad to hear you say this… and you know once you put it in print we’ll be pestering you about it… you poor thing… LOL! But seriously – what a rush to hear you share where you’re at – and a great place it is! Love you!!!! xoxoxo ((((HUGS))))

  8. admin says:

    I’m glad it’s in print too so I can come back here and read it to remind me where I need to be, where I want to be, the feeling I had as Andrew told me this info. Grief is a formidable opponent, it has kicked my ass. But I had other things kicking my ass too, so grief was able to really get in there. Grief had the advantage….but is no match for an Avatar who loves his Pretty Mama! An Avatar that has more work to do here w/his Pretty Mama. An Avatar that is as tight as ever w/his Dad to help him.

    Martin researched it, and it usually takes at least 5 years for parents to START coming back from grief over losing a child. So I know I am ahead of the game. Especially since we had no other children at home, grandkids or family close by as a distraction. We had to face this head on! It was just us and a constant reminder of our huge loss staring us in the face everyday.

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