with my life? Perhaps. Well, for the moment anyway. When I was on the treadmill today wondering why I had sooooo much time on my hands to think and miss Andrew, I “heard” Andrew, per say, I know it was him putting the thoughts in my head. It was fast & furious and then he backed it up with his calling card of 22’s on my treadmill on the time and mileage.
It’s pretty cool how we communicate on the Other Side. I think people get tripped up because they expect it to be like we communicate here, but it is so much more sophisticated than that when we are in our natural form of pure energy on the Other Side.
Anyway Andrew “told” me that this time was needed right now to be in total self care. To have the time to get the weight off that I want, I’m almost there. Taking the time to master meditating, astral traveling and connecting with him the way I want to. Time to adjust to our new relationship and new way of communicating with each other while I am still here. I need this time to heal and become stronger than ever before. I need this time to connect with my Higher Self more. So instead of resenting all this time I have in the house mostly on my own, missing what I had, I am finally ready to make the most of it & do what I am suppose to. Well, that’s the plan anyway. It always looks good on paper. ;-)
The issue for me has been that I just haven’t had the energy to do most of those things. My mind has been such mush trying to wrap my head around these past 2 1/2 yrs. Trying to make peace with it all. It’s been a lot to deal with. I’d rather be doing our concerts instead, to cope.
Andrew’s telling me now as I’m typing this, that he compromised with me by letting me do some concerts to help me cope, a taste of what all this is really about, but now it’s time to get serious about the rest of my healing and that comes in the form of meditating to bump up my vibration where it needs to be. Muck and Martin have been protecting me long enough and now I have to start raising my vibration so I can start bringing in the right things for me, and NOT what I don’t want. No one can raise my vibration for me, I have to do it for myself. I have got to STOP resenting everything that has happened to me, and allow what is suppose to happen, happen. See the blessings that are rising from all this. DUH! There’s a difference between KNOWING it and DOING it! I’m gonna start DOING it now. I’ve only been DOING, half ass, which is better than most in this position. Hell! I’ve been doing better than a lot of ppl who don’t even have this much trauma! BUT that’s not good enough for me, and what the 3 of us have to do. Just KNOWING it, ain’t cutting it anymore, not if I want change…and I do. Knowing is the easy part, DOING? Not so much! It’s a whole other ball game. Martin and Muck have been protecting me, i.e. giving me a safe place to be the grieving mother, until I could raise my vibration myself. It’s time. There’s just no easy way out. I have to do the work to get what I want. But I also knew I would feel when the time was right. I would FEEL like doing all those things and not dread it like I have been. Is the grief over, NOT by a long shot! But there is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small it may seem now, at least I can see it! It’s a step in the right direction.
So off I go to meditate and work on being w/that boy of mine in our new way. The way I am meant to be. I have to go and meet him, I know he’s meeting me more than 1/2 way, time to step up. *goes to get big girl panties on again* THX Leah and Karen!
IT’S ALL GOOD!