Martin just found his writings from the first days of Andrew’s diagnosis. Andrew had him read it over the other day. I am trying to write these conversations when I have them with Martin before I forget because they kick ass! This is amazing stuff.
Martin wrote mostly in the beginning about his feelings as he watched his son go through horrendous conditions. He talked about how being a recovering alcoholic, this would be the time you’d think he’d want to drink but it wasn’t. He saw it as an opportunity to step up to the plate and be the strong one. He knew that this was one time that I couldn’t be the strong one in all this. And he was right! He thought “How can I consider being weak when my 16 year old son has done nothing but show me courage?” He knew he couldn’t, he wouldn’t let me down, Andrew down or himself down. It was his time to shine. And shine Martin did!
After Andrew got off intubation Martin wrote about what Andrew was experiencing. How Andrew would stare at his hand and when Martin asked him what he was doing he said “Daddy, I can see through my hand. My hand is transparent.” Martin found that fascinating and talked to him about it, asking Andrew questions and honoring what Andrew was experiencing. Andrew then went to lay his head down and was looking at his pillow oddly. Martin asked Andrew what was wrong and Andrew said “My pillow looks like a bunch of skin cells.” Then he went on to explain exactly what they looked like and Martin said Andrew described a skin cell to a tee! Andrew hadn’t studied human biology yet, so this was surprising to Martin. He knew Andrew’s body might have been on this dimension, but his Spirit was not.
Not only did Andrew turn on his fairy light tonight while I was in his room turning his light bedroom light on. He also gave me a “Hello Pretty Mama” on Gene Simmons Family Jewels tonight.
When I was going down the hall to turn on his light, I purposely noticed that his bathroom fairly light wasn’t on. When I walked out of his room to go into the his bathroom to turn it on, it was already on! He turned it on this morning as well. I turned it off since it was early in the day but I always thank him for turning it on.
Tonight I was watching Family Jewels like we use to do on Sunday nights last year with Andrew. They were showing personal home videos of Gene and Nick sitting together in a plane going on a family vacation. Nick leans over and bites Gene on the shoulder. Andrew use to do the same thing, randomly biting me on my nose or shoulder. It was so funny the way Andrew did it. We could be sitting there having a conversation and he’d lean over and bite my nose! I miss him doing that. I miss so much about him not being here physically. But he always sends me my “Hello Pretty Mamas.” He’s a good Avatar!
IT’S ALL GOOD!