I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today. Still not sure how I’m going to word this. But here it goes.
People have been posting here and on the Angel board about how much of an impact Martin’s & my relationship had on Andrew and helping him be who he is. (can’t use was, it’s not true) Not to toot my own horn but it is true, the loving relationship Martin and I have has effected our kids in a positive way. It has given them example of what to strive for in their own relationships. The greatest gift we can give our kids is a functioning, loving relationship between their parents, step parents, divorced or not!
I think I am guided to write this because Andrew has friends in his life that aren’t as lucky as he was in the parent relationship dept. As parents we can get so caught up in our own stuff that we forget how it effects our kids. Kids can feel the energy between parents.
Martin and I weren’t perfect parents, that doesn’t exist. Even our relationship has had it’s bumps in the road along the way. Martin and I would talk our issues out in private like adults and not get into screaming matches in front of the kids. Andrew has had friends whose parents have outrageous, inappropriate, selfish behavior. And when parents do this, it forever changes who their kids are! Sorry to go Dr. Phil on ya but it’s true!
Andrew was very concerned about several of his friends because of their parent’s behavior. They just can’t or should I say WON’T get their shit together, not even for their kids! There is no excuse for that!! When you become a parent your children should come first! In a loving relationship, then yes you must take care of that first. But your kids should NEVER be on the back burner. The best gift you can give your kids is a safe, loving environment where their parents love and respect one another. And if you can’t do that simple basic thing that a marriage is suppose to be then get a GD DIVORCE already and quit dragging your kids through your dirty laundry!! IT’S NOT FAIR!
I know Andrew was upset with several of his friend’s parents because he had to listen to it from his friends. How miserable his friends were. Which brings me back to the peace beginning within each one of us! That simple thing can change your child’s world in ways you can’t even imagine! All our kids want is to see us happy. I know that is all I wanted for my mother when I was growing up.
I didn’t have a safe place to fall growing up and I wanted to make sure I gave that to my kids. Andrew saw how many kids don’t have that safe place to fall either. And as parents that is our first thing we owe our kids! And how many don’t get it?? Waaaay too many!
I think Andrew wants to get that message out there, love your kids enough to give them a safe place to be!
Ok, I’m done for now but who knows I may change it all later. I know what Andrew wants to convey, just not sure if I didn’t it well enough.
CHOOSE JOY! CHOOSE PEACE! CHOOSE LOVE! and IT’S ALL GOOD!