First I have to say I am really tired. I’ve had no problem switching to sleeping at night again. Maybe being up for 3 or 4 days in a row helped. I start fading around 9:30pm now which is sooooo not me! I’m usually up till 2 a.m.!! Not now! I’m down for the count around 11p.m. and I struggle to even stay up till then!! Just a little FYI to my So-Cal friends….don’t call me late for now! :-D

Everybody wonders how I am able to deal with all this so well & be so strong. Well, it shocks the crap outta me let me tell ya! I always said that if Andrew were to go then I would go too because nothing would make sense in my life anymore. I wouldn’t want to be here anymore because all this planet is, is one painful experience after another! I’ve had enough! We didn’t deserve this!

Everyday I do cry for my son. I am so sad and I get the slaps up beside my head that my son really is no longer here physically. It just doesn’t seem real. How can it be?

But Andrew gets me to focus on my heart. He does that as a reminder of him because he is the one who took the ache from my heart only 4 days after he ascended & the ache has not been back. Even in my moments of despair & grief my heart feels at peace. How weird is that?? He said that it’s the ego grieving. Whatever! It still SUCKS!
So I try to focus on my peaceful heart when the wave of “OMG! I want my son back” comes over me. It gets overwhelming but a good cry seems to help.

How can I not be strong? I want to make my son proud of his Pretty Mama and also it is a testament to Andrew’s healing abilities that my heart is at peace now. Time will take care of the rest.


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  1. Karen T. says:

    You are such a blessed Mama!

    Hugs and love from my Mama heart to yours….

  2. Swati says:

    Each time you write something you remind me how totally awesome you are!!!

  3. Anna Taylor says:

    You are so inspiring, Connie. Always here to hold your had from a distance if you need it.

    Love you gorgeous Witchy Woman! XXX

  4. jessica says:

    I would have to say you are very inspiring just like andrew! he should me so many things and you are showing everyone as well. your a strong person and mama and your amazing for that! keep up all your ideas and follow your heart…It’s all good” love you! xoxoxoxoxo

  5. Leah Clark says:

    Connie –

    I can’t even imagine. I have been and continue to be so blessed by being on this journey with you. Any time you need a hug, a shoulder, or an ear, we’re here!!!!

    Love ya,

  6. admin says:

    OK, Group ((((((HUG)))))))!!

    I Love and appreciate everyone of you being in my life!!! I am blessed! And thank God for Myspace huh Karen and Leah????

    Jessie, I’m so glad to have you more in my life now!!! You are so awesome! ANd I couldn’t be more prouder of you and Sam!!!!

    Swati, thanks for being such a great stalker…..and friend!!! For those who have read my book, Swati’s email is in the beginning of my book! SHe was one of the many people who hound…..I mean gently shov..I mean nudged me into writing the book and gave me feed back on each chapter I shared.

    Give each other an etheric (((((hug!!!)))))

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