Our kids on the Other Side are some pretty tough cookies lemme tell ya! No more Mr Nice guy or gal! Martin and I are Secret Santa gifts again this year for some grieving parents in the Voice Of Our Angels FaceBook group. We’re offering 20 min readings for a special rate to connect with their kids. Last year we had such a great time meeting the kids, they were so funny! I forgot that they weren’t physically here anymore.
The ones that got a reading last year though? Well, let’s just say that their kids are kicking ass, taking names and numbers this year! They are not allowing their parents to sit in their prison of grief! And make no mistake, grief over losing a child builds a nice, strong, little prison for you if you allow it. It’s a lot of work to make sure it’s not built! Grief is exhausting no matter how look at it.
Building a wall of grief or healing it, it’s exhausting! BUT the rewards are greater if we’ll do the work to heal and move through the grief. Grief builds a wall between us and our kids, while healing grief brings us closer to our kids, and builds a new relationship with them, not a prison keeping us from them. Remembering that helps me not fall deep into grief, but instead heal another layer of it
These kids and their parents have a mission together and they want their parents to step up their game. Geez! It’s easy for them to expect so much! They’re happy! But us left behind? NOT…SO…MUCH! There is the aftermath of their leaving for us to clean up and heal.
I know it’s for our own good. The kids are this way with us (Andrew too) to help us move through the grief, not build a prison with it, to see the bigger picture by building the new relationship with their child, but my heart breaks for these parents too.
I don’t know how parents survive this kind of tragedy without knowing what Martin and I do, without having what we do with Andrew. It’s what keeps me going. But we have done the work through the years. I give kudos to these parents for still being here. For still standing, no matter how wobbly they may feel, no matter how grief stricten they may be. If Martin and I can help these parents begin to build that bridge of the new relationship with their child? Well then, it helps my heart heal a bit more too!
After all, we’re in this together. No one could possible understand what we are all going through except for those who have been through it, who have lost a child. I am honored to be apart of these parents’ journey, and being able to help these parents connect to their child, and to help them build that BRIDGE to the new relationship with their child, and not the prison keeping them from their kids. What we need to remember is that if we build a wall of anger, bitterness, and grief between us and our kids on the other side, OR a bridge of love and connection TO them, it is ALWAYS OUR choice. So choose wisely my friends. Choose wisely!
Here is an example of what I am talking about why we do what we do:
Connie..this is long overdue…please tell Martin that the reading we had with my Maegan changed my life and my grief forever. I listen more…and try to write down everything she tells me. She’s like a gatling gun sometimes and I don’t get it all word for word, but we communicate. I ask her to slow down. She does. Martin opened a whole new world for me. I have the same relationship I had with my Meggie when she was alive, but somehow it seems better as she isn’t absorbed in her own pain and mental illness.
Sometimes we both get so excited to be communicating , I think we could power a grid! Thank you both for showing me the path she and I need to walk now. She’s so happy, so vibrant, and so ready to tell me what she wants everyone to know. Our bond was always amazing while she was here. Now we have an amazing bond with her on the other side, and me here. Thank you to Martin. And I will be setting up a reading again in about 6 months. Love, light, and hugs to you both! And congratulations on your beautiful new granddaughter’s birth…though she is an old soul herself. You are forever in my prayers. Maegan and I thank you both. ~Helene Karen Condreay~
Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Through all the grief, the message is always clear…….
IT’S ALL GOOD!